Since yesterday, I was in a bad mood and I didn't know why. Maybe I'm just pissed off or a little bit tired of what's happening around me, or maybe because I was not able to do the things I had set my mind of doing because of the circumstances that I had to face where in fact it was not really my fault or my doings.
I woke up early hoping that I could jog but then, I woke up just to go back to the hospital and withdraw my salary only to give it away in less than a minute. Now, I'm broke again. I covered for the shortage in the cash drawer where I didn't know where did the money go. I gave it to my sister and then I only got a yellow bill inside my wallet now.
I met up with some friends/schoolmates and was planning to watch a movie alone when my sister texted me to go home and get some files mailed to her because she forgot to bring it with her. I got pissed off actually, because she knew that those where important then, she left them and asked me to mail it to her? And when I knew that it is only a reservation and a gift certificate to a certain hotel I was mad because my supposed to be date-with-myself was ruined because of some stupid gift certificate where in fact they had already a free accommodation there. What totally made me angry was looking for them.
I went home after sending it via LBC and I cooked our dinner and after I went to sleep and was in panic mode when I saw the time on my phone. It's only an hour before ten and I need to take a bath and eat my dinner because I was not called when they took their dinner. So, I ate my dinner alone (it doesn't matter to me anymore because I'm used to it). I was afraid I'll get late, and the rain was non-stop, luckily my dad always sends me to work.
Then, as I'm having my duty, some nurses whom I-don't-actually-hate-you-I'm-just-annoyed-with-how-you-treat-us, came inside the pharmacy as if they are welcomed! Gee, I need to be patient with them because sometimes they don't know what they are doing, forgive me but I am not good in cursing and I hate myself for being so hot last night. I actually saying that I-want-to-resign-at-this-very-moment, because I want them to feel that it's not easy being a pharmacist and they are just seeing the mistakes made by our department, and if ever they made a grave mistake they are like Pontius Pilate who are washing their dirty hands. I was heating up inside that I want to scream and tell everyone in the face that admit-it-you-need-us, but of course they would not understand our profession.
What made my inside lurch was the fact that there are only few pharmacists in that institution, but then you will actually notice that not all of them are to be trusted with secrets and stuffs, not all of them will help you out and raise you, but some of them will be the one who will pull you down and talk bad things when you're not around. Talk about bad habits and negative things behind your back, your mistakes and bloopers you had that day, and they can't do it in your face! What a shame! And I actually don't know what things they are talking about me, I'm still a newbie! I don't have spies and buggers. But I knew they are talking something about everyone else's.
I had finally watched a movie but then the consequence is, I'm still broke and on the verge of bankruptcy (lol). But I feel better now, when I ate a hearty dinner with my parents and my brother. My cravings for crabs we're met! I will have to wake up early because I was scheduled the morning shift! Six in the morning, and will need to energize my spirit in the afternoon... TEEHEE
Friday, March 4, 2011
1st Day: 10 Random Facts About Me
This is the challenge I took when I read the blog of a friend. So I had also my 1st day: the 10 random facts about myself. I already shared it to my textmates, now it’s time to share it to my blogmates. Here it goes…
I am a FILIPINO and I’m proud to be one
I love animes, Asian stuffs, Asian songs, Asian etc.
A certified chocoholic and a sweet tooth
Frustrated detective/agent/spy
I love music and numbers but not so good in arts
I love to read and my passion is writing
I love to watch videos of Ryan Higa, Kevin Wu, Wesley Chan, and WongFu Productions
I love to travel and have adventures
I can’t live a day without smiling though I’m having a bad mood
Lastly, I’m a PHARMACIST, this is my calling, this is my pride.
Please watch out for my second day. I need to go my own way….TEEHEE! =)
I am a FILIPINO and I’m proud to be one
I love animes, Asian stuffs, Asian songs, Asian etc.
A certified chocoholic and a sweet tooth
Frustrated detective/agent/spy
I love music and numbers but not so good in arts
I love to read and my passion is writing
I love to watch videos of Ryan Higa, Kevin Wu, Wesley Chan, and WongFu Productions
I love to travel and have adventures
I can’t live a day without smiling though I’m having a bad mood
Lastly, I’m a PHARMACIST, this is my calling, this is my pride.
Please watch out for my second day. I need to go my own way….TEEHEE! =)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Please READ and SHARE
i had read this essay years ago, but I was not able to re-blog it. I was touched by this essay, because I have learned a lot from it. We are all guilty about not loving our own country, but when I read this essay, I had changed, now I want you also to see how lucky we are, I love my country and I want to spread this. Can you help me? Let us not show it through words but through actions. I know in my simple ways, I am showing my fellowmen that I truly love my country. Let us pray for our nation and let us love our own PHILIPPINES.
MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim
Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines. Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.
Let me first talk about my country, Korea. It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.
Koreans used to talk about the Philippines, for Filipinos were very rich in Asia. We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. My father & brother also died because of famine. Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism.
Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism. 40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea. He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.
In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park. They asked to him, "President,when can we be well off?" That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea, and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea. So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea. He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.
Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off. Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea. They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood. Have you cried for the Philippines? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go to mass and work for Church. They pray every day. However, they do not love the Philippines. I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines.
Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.When I was in Korea, I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines,I completely lost my faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines. Street kids always make me sad, and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia, but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.
My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy aftertaking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it.
But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.
She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.
I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people,contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country.
Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines, there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love. If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines. Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country. You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.
That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.
MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim
Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines. Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.
Let me first talk about my country, Korea. It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.
Koreans used to talk about the Philippines, for Filipinos were very rich in Asia. We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. My father & brother also died because of famine. Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism.
Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism. 40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea. He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.
In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park. They asked to him, "President,when can we be well off?" That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea, and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea. So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea. He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.
Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off. Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea. They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood. Have you cried for the Philippines? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go to mass and work for Church. They pray every day. However, they do not love the Philippines. I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines.
Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.When I was in Korea, I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines,I completely lost my faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines. Street kids always make me sad, and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia, but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.
My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy aftertaking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it.
But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.
She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.
I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people,contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country.
Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines, there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love. If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines. Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country. You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.
That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
40 Random Facts About ME!!!
I started this message about giving 40 facts about yourself, if you truly know yourself, it is easy for you to give 40 or more, real interaction with oneself is one way to avoid stress and know your weaknesses and strengths. Here's my 40 random facts...
1. I love GOD, my family, friends and of course MYSELF! (how could I love others if I can’t even love myself?)
2. My mother planned to name me CHARISMA and my nickname should have been CHARM. (Don’t call me CHARM, it is restricted).
3. I love to eat.
4. My favorite hobby is sleeping.
5. I love to write and make a blog.
6. I love music.
7. I play the guitar and octavina, I’m starting playing the violin and relearning the piano.
8. I love anime.
9. I love to read books.
10. I can tolerate cold temperature.
11. My pain tolerance is high.
12. I love forensics and crime scene investigation.
13. Definitely a frustrated detective.
14. I love numbers.
15. I love arts but the feeling is not mutual.
16. I like bikes and cars.
17. I want to have a LAMBORGHINI. (DiABLO will do)
18. My code name last review was TRUENO AE86. (another car, meant for racing mostly use for drifting, next in line to my LAMBO).
19. I love chocolates and ice creams.
20. I am such a sweetie.
21. I am extreme.
22. I want to listen to ASIAN songs. (Chinese, Japanese, Korean and OPM)
23. I am simple.
24. I’m not fashionable.
25. I love movies.
26. I love shakes.
27. My happiness is too shallow.
28. I want to study further.
29. I want to play the drums.
30. I want to travel around the world.
31. I want to have a library.
32. I am boyish.
33. I’m planning to enter the convent.
34. I’m collecting ADIDAS Bags and slippers.
35. I am a member of NBSB.
36. I love teddy bears and stuff toys.
37. I play basketball.
38. I was diagnosed with ADHD.
39. I am autistic.
40. I am a FILIPINO.
I still have more to share, but I will share them later on. That was random and I made it in less than an hour. So, what are the 40 facts about you?
1. I love GOD, my family, friends and of course MYSELF! (how could I love others if I can’t even love myself?)
2. My mother planned to name me CHARISMA and my nickname should have been CHARM. (Don’t call me CHARM, it is restricted).
3. I love to eat.
4. My favorite hobby is sleeping.
5. I love to write and make a blog.
6. I love music.
7. I play the guitar and octavina, I’m starting playing the violin and relearning the piano.
8. I love anime.
9. I love to read books.
10. I can tolerate cold temperature.
11. My pain tolerance is high.
12. I love forensics and crime scene investigation.
13. Definitely a frustrated detective.
14. I love numbers.
15. I love arts but the feeling is not mutual.
16. I like bikes and cars.
17. I want to have a LAMBORGHINI. (DiABLO will do)
18. My code name last review was TRUENO AE86. (another car, meant for racing mostly use for drifting, next in line to my LAMBO).
19. I love chocolates and ice creams.
20. I am such a sweetie.
21. I am extreme.
22. I want to listen to ASIAN songs. (Chinese, Japanese, Korean and OPM)
23. I am simple.
24. I’m not fashionable.
25. I love movies.
26. I love shakes.
27. My happiness is too shallow.
28. I want to study further.
29. I want to play the drums.
30. I want to travel around the world.
31. I want to have a library.
32. I am boyish.
33. I’m planning to enter the convent.
34. I’m collecting ADIDAS Bags and slippers.
35. I am a member of NBSB.
36. I love teddy bears and stuff toys.
37. I play basketball.
38. I was diagnosed with ADHD.
39. I am autistic.
40. I am a FILIPINO.
I still have more to share, but I will share them later on. That was random and I made it in less than an hour. So, what are the 40 facts about you?
Friday, February 18, 2011
I'm Broke But I'm Happy
It's been a while since I get in touch with my blog here... I am always scheduled a night shift this past few days, and I was not able to touch my laptop and updated my blog. I am blogging now to share my happiness with my recent love life. I had blogged about something the last time but then I was not able to publish it. (Is there something wrong with my blogger?)
I want to share these:
Yeah, it is the reason why I'm broke right now, I spent my whole half-month's salary for this. So I need to take good care of it and soon enough I will play this on my own, beautifully! Indeed, it is one of my greatest passion, my dream. Now, all I need to do is to put my heart and my mind in practicing and playing. A good reason to be broke! It's my gift to myself this valentine's! I so love this pretty thing, can you help me give a name? Thanks! Soon, the pictures will be the both of us. =)
I want to share these:
Yeah, it is the reason why I'm broke right now, I spent my whole half-month's salary for this. So I need to take good care of it and soon enough I will play this on my own, beautifully! Indeed, it is one of my greatest passion, my dream. Now, all I need to do is to put my heart and my mind in practicing and playing. A good reason to be broke! It's my gift to myself this valentine's! I so love this pretty thing, can you help me give a name? Thanks! Soon, the pictures will be the both of us. =)
Friday, February 4, 2011
NEW YEAR???
Xin Nian Kuai Le!!!
It's the chinese new year and i had fun at Bacolodiat... I was with my cousins and aunts, walking along the streets of Lacson. Seeing other chinoys and foreigners enjoying the night, yet I was not that happy.
REASON:
First thing in the morning, when I went to work, I was summoned by the accounting office due to some discrepancy in my report. I actually don't know what happened during the time and I was just saying yes, because all I can hear is the beating of my heart. I thought I was gonna faint, because the last time I experienced such heartbeat was when I was in high school and I found out that my project was broken and I can't have a grade. My eyesight were getting dimmer and I'm having chest pains. (OUCH! That hurts!) Then I was thinking that maybe, I need to pay more than a thousand bucks again (I promise, I will never ever pay that amount again-- ACTRAPID).
I rode the elevator and went to the said office, when all I can think of is the possibility of getting scold. I talked to the accountant and she showed me what happened. The OR # etc (I need to find the paper where the OR# was written) was not included in my print out and there are two same OR# printed.. How is it possible??? I can't answer it too... (TOO BAD, I'm not in my senses anymore, I even lost track of the date and time.) I don't know how to reason out and defend myself. I need to make and INCIDENT REPORT and pay for it. Lucky for me, it's only 129.46php only but that's quite big for me==1 full day meal (breakfast,lunch,dinner). I am thinking again, why am I so stupid? I hate it... My neurons are having their vacation leave already??? HELP!!!
Now, I don't know what will I write in this incident report, it is my first time... But, I will take it positively, it is another lesson learned for me. I still have a long way to go...
It's the chinese new year and i had fun at Bacolodiat... I was with my cousins and aunts, walking along the streets of Lacson. Seeing other chinoys and foreigners enjoying the night, yet I was not that happy.
REASON:
First thing in the morning, when I went to work, I was summoned by the accounting office due to some discrepancy in my report. I actually don't know what happened during the time and I was just saying yes, because all I can hear is the beating of my heart. I thought I was gonna faint, because the last time I experienced such heartbeat was when I was in high school and I found out that my project was broken and I can't have a grade. My eyesight were getting dimmer and I'm having chest pains. (OUCH! That hurts!) Then I was thinking that maybe, I need to pay more than a thousand bucks again (I promise, I will never ever pay that amount again-- ACTRAPID).
I rode the elevator and went to the said office, when all I can think of is the possibility of getting scold. I talked to the accountant and she showed me what happened. The OR # etc (I need to find the paper where the OR# was written) was not included in my print out and there are two same OR# printed.. How is it possible??? I can't answer it too... (TOO BAD, I'm not in my senses anymore, I even lost track of the date and time.) I don't know how to reason out and defend myself. I need to make and INCIDENT REPORT and pay for it. Lucky for me, it's only 129.46php only but that's quite big for me==1 full day meal (breakfast,lunch,dinner). I am thinking again, why am I so stupid? I hate it... My neurons are having their vacation leave already??? HELP!!!
Now, I don't know what will I write in this incident report, it is my first time... But, I will take it positively, it is another lesson learned for me. I still have a long way to go...
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Exhausted--Outlet!
Today,the day I never expect to turn out so bad. I expected it to be something good,something to look forward to, something worth remembering--yeah it was worth remembering (the first time I was assigned to do the standing meds without help! It was so tiring).
Today, I realized so much about work, friendship, real life and hardship. You always start from scratch, until you make a perfect picture. You start from the bottom in order for you to reach the top. You were once a coal until you were polished into a diamond. Our life is full of trials and hardships, full of detours and road blocks. I realized that I haven't experienced everything at all and I realized how blessed I am for having the people who let me experience something new. They let me experience humility (even better), patience, and the courage to never surrender. (Yes, I already experienced them, but being here made me realized that I need more experience before I reach the next level).
I was just sad and a was having a self-pity this afternoon because NOBODY helped me! I was on the verge of crying when I told myself that I could do it. I was sorry for the clerks who helped me prepared the medicines, the delivery was so late. That was because I finished it late, because no one (as in no one) helped me out. But then I realized that, I could never depend on someone all the time, I am the only one who could help myself and I am proud that I finished it alone. ( I was thankful that the clerks never left me).
My sentiments are "wala gid sila nagbulig, pero kung ka barkada gani nila, pila ka station ang ila ma ubra bisan busy pa. Sa akon na first time ko, wala gid mi isa.Pero sige lang, tuloy ang laban. Wala man ko may mahimo, indi ko gusto mag reklamo, kay wala pa ko karapatan. bag-o palang ko, I must be the one to adjust. But tani, help man ko nila bisan gamay. Indi man ko reklamador, gina ubra ko man ang ubra ko. Pero sige lang ah... I must remain a humble servant, indi man sila akon gina serbisyohan, mga patients man... I hope next time I will get the hang of it na. Bisan din lang ko dan gina assign, wala ko pa na master ang isa, next level na dayon. Dasig akon na rotation. HAHA... I was so exhausted but I learned a lot from it.
Today, I realized so much about work, friendship, real life and hardship. You always start from scratch, until you make a perfect picture. You start from the bottom in order for you to reach the top. You were once a coal until you were polished into a diamond. Our life is full of trials and hardships, full of detours and road blocks. I realized that I haven't experienced everything at all and I realized how blessed I am for having the people who let me experience something new. They let me experience humility (even better), patience, and the courage to never surrender. (Yes, I already experienced them, but being here made me realized that I need more experience before I reach the next level).
I was just sad and a was having a self-pity this afternoon because NOBODY helped me! I was on the verge of crying when I told myself that I could do it. I was sorry for the clerks who helped me prepared the medicines, the delivery was so late. That was because I finished it late, because no one (as in no one) helped me out. But then I realized that, I could never depend on someone all the time, I am the only one who could help myself and I am proud that I finished it alone. ( I was thankful that the clerks never left me).
My sentiments are "wala gid sila nagbulig, pero kung ka barkada gani nila, pila ka station ang ila ma ubra bisan busy pa. Sa akon na first time ko, wala gid mi isa.Pero sige lang, tuloy ang laban. Wala man ko may mahimo, indi ko gusto mag reklamo, kay wala pa ko karapatan. bag-o palang ko, I must be the one to adjust. But tani, help man ko nila bisan gamay. Indi man ko reklamador, gina ubra ko man ang ubra ko. Pero sige lang ah... I must remain a humble servant, indi man sila akon gina serbisyohan, mga patients man... I hope next time I will get the hang of it na. Bisan din lang ko dan gina assign, wala ko pa na master ang isa, next level na dayon. Dasig akon na rotation. HAHA... I was so exhausted but I learned a lot from it.
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