All Over Again!

Oh men! It's been so long since I last posted a blog! I think my writing skills got rusty! Whew! I really don't want to stop, yet circumstances hinders me.

I am really pissed of repeating the urinalysis just because the doctor won't accept the results even though it is wthin the normal range. She really wants to see a "zero" in the results to consider it normal.

Don't get me wrong here, but is she reviewing? I can't really don't understand why I need to repeat my urinalysis, I've been repeating it for more than 3 times already. I have done everything she asked me too.

I really don't understand, why. I can't get my recommendation for my duty, just because of this urinalysis. I can't get my medical certificate and I don't have the time because I will have my duty on specialization in a short while. So (bahala na naman si Batman?).

I just want to end this blog, but I'm still pissed off.

Reminiscing the PAST!

First of all, I just want to share that I am happy right now because I am home... This reminds me of the times when I was still a kid, I am always alone at home.=(

When I was young, I am always doing things on my own, I grew up to be independent because I can't depend on someone, that they are always there to assist me. I can still remember the times when I was in the first grade, my mom would bring me to school and see that I am seated on my seat and then she will go to her office. And when I will look out of the window, I see no one. Not even her shadow can be found. I would cry and my classmates would look at me as if I am an abnormal child, but some of them would just tell me that she will be right back or she just went in the canteen. My teacher will tell me everything she knows that would console me, just like "nagbuy lang ice cream si nanay mo, mabalik man na siya karon...sulod na di kag mag copy." I will obey her and ginapasalig akon bu-ot na mabalik siya. I will copy notes from the board and get it checked by my teacher, then ask if my mom returned. I was the cry baby of the room. It's as if it is my routine everyday, look at the window and find out she's gone, cry, copy notes,wait... Until I got immuned by the feeling and accept that she can't be with me always.

A little history of the past...

My family came from nothing, we came from rags. I can't say that right now we are rich, I can just say we are blessed because of hardwork and perseverance and of course because of PRAYER,DEVOTIONS and ANGELS. People will tease me of being the "Avon girl" but they don't know that it is the source of income of my family. It is the one that pulled us up and give us financial support.

My dad was once a mechanic, that's why I love cars! He can assemble cars for drag race, that's why when I have a job, I'll buy an old model of Lancer (Mitsubishi) and let him manipulate the machine to be a drag race car! hehe... My mom is a plain housewife then, but since she has dreams for us to "makapagtapos ng pag-aaral" and "indi niyo ma agyan ang na agyan namon sa kapigadohon, tanan amon antuson, para sa inyo", so my mom can't take it anymore, tried anything to make money, until she joined AVON. Right now, she's harvesting the fruits of her labors... My parents now have a doctor, CPA, future chem eng'r and of course a future pharmacist! Nyahaha..

enough...

Past is past, we need to move on, but we need the past to let us remember where we came from... The only thing that my parents' can give us are: their love, support, faith in God, prayer and devotion, the values and the close family tie we have... and to live with God in the center of our lives is the greatest thing ever...=)

I am really having a hard time making a blog, I have lots of idea in my mind yet I can't put them into writing. I just love to think of them, to keep them to myself. I am having an emotional conversation with my mother just right now. And my mind keeps on swirling, I am having a homesickness right now! Oh! (Kung di-in nag 3rd year, daw didto pa nag tukar ang pagkabata!)

I really miss my family! I'm dying to see them! (exclamation point gid na ya, nagpapahiwatig ng matinding damdamin!) I am really having a hard time, but a little sacrifice and it will be alright! It is for my future! Hmmm... Speaking of future, I am seeing myself as a pharmacist, if not a doctor maybe! hehe...

When did I decided to take this up?

When I was a child, I really wanted to be a stewardess or a pilot! (nyahaha! I just love to travel!) I even asked my mom, "Nay, nu na ang course na galagaw ka lang pu damo ka kwarta nay man? Gina sweldohan ka bala pu la ka ubra, malagaw ka lang sa iban na lugar haw?" My mom just laugh at me, and told me "la ka handom sa kabuhi mo ya? Mu lang gid na ya? teh maging proud ka na bala sa ulihi?" (kag naghipos ang tanan! hehe). I was a kid then, but my mom really told us to have a dream, to set a goal. To be an achiever. I was an achiever when I was young, but then i don't know what happened to me! I was now an average, as if I am not excelling in what I do! (This is what I hate 'bout myself).

Highschool came, everyone wants to enroll in nursing, planning to take this course up, but I don't know why I don't like to take this up. I don't have love for this course! Yet, I took some entrance exams in schools offering this coourse and passed them all. Then, one evening during the family dinner, they asked me what to take up, looks like I'm caught in the middle, didn't know what to answer, and then I asked back, "nu course ang nami man, except nursing?" Then my eldeest sister suggested PHARMACY! Baby asked, "nami man na nang?" there, my eyes twinkled as if the heaven opened its gate and angels are blowing the trumpets! I have the answer! "Ma Pharmacy na lang ko nay ah! No retreat, no surrender! Sure na!"

That's where it started.. A little conversation, and that's it. My mom is always telling us na kung ano ang nasuguran taposon, bisan ano ka budlay sulungon! Well, here I am... 3rd year and in the second semester... A little bit more and I can finish what Iv'e started. Since that conversation, it was tattoed on my mind and my heart that I will be a pharmacist in the near future! But right now, I am in doubt if I will pass or fail, all I know God has plans for me, He will never abandon me, I am His child anyway!

I just want to share my love letter... Coming from my mom... It was given to me when I was still in first year, when she visited me at the dorm! (Sosyal, sang una ga bisita pa, subong la na!) I will state not entirely the whole letter... But some details, just a part of it!=) She wishes me to study harder because I am now starting to plant the seeds of my future. That my success is also there success. "When the time comes when you feel that you're alone always remember, we are here for you. When you feel that nobody loves you, we are here for you because we love you. God is always there for you! We only want the BEST for you!" I am really touched by my mom's letter... Actually, she just left it at my bed before she went home!

Here's the p.s. of the letter:

Drink your vitamins everyday...
Eat when you're hungry...
Sleep when you're sleepy...
Study when there is need for you to study, do your homework and study for the exams...
Be humble, always give love to others.
The more you give, the more you receive.

I could not ask for more... After weeks or even months of not posting, I came back to my senses and will be returning for more... watch out for the upcoming blogs that will either make you hate me because I'm bad, laugh at me because I'm silly, or love me because I'm a cutie!=)

ps... cheet, ara na blog ko! wahaha! kalma lang kay kung di ko busy ma pa ulan ko blog!=)

What Will I Do Without Them?

Whew! I can't start this blog, I think my brain cells are all burned up that they would not let me finish this post with out sweat. All I want to write about is a "thank you" for the people who made me keep on going. Indeed, a simple thank you is hard to express especially if you have a lot to thank about.

First, and foremost I want to thank my parents and my whole family:

To my everdearest nanay, what will I do if I don't have a mom like you? A big thanks 'nay. For she's the one who really understood me when I was so down last week, she did not scold me, I heard nothing from her aside from the comfort and the assurance that everything will be alright. For processing the requirements of the bank for me, and for the support and the unconditional love she bestowed. A simple thank you is not enough for the sacrifices she had done, for the comfort and all things, either materially or emotionally.

To my "dichi", the one who had the same face as mine, I am really touched. She's the one who offered me her atm, from the time she heard what happened. She made me cried out because of the care she showed even though she's not beside me, I can still feel that she's just there. She's actually the one who took care of me since I was a baby, deprived herself from playing with her friends just to look after me. A savior of my pleas, sometimes she's spoiling me! hehe...

To my friends, for making me laugh and forget about the depressing things that happened, a big thanks.

Lastly, no not the last there still more. My family in general for not letting me down, for making
feel that I am loved and for all the happiness that they made me feel. For accepting me wholeheartedly, that no matter what happens they are just behind me, willing to push me and pick me up. And if ever there's a chance to choose a family, they will be the one I will always choose. "You can always choose whom to like,whom to love, whom to be friends with, but your family? You can never choose, just accept them and enjoy their company, they are the ones whose always at your side especially when you are at your worst."

Lastly, for my BIG DAD... I never lost faith in Him, the one who gave my life. Without HIM I will never have a family like the one I have right now, and friends who I will never forget and regret...

A big thanks to all, and I will forever be thanking you!!=)

My Not So Good Week=(

Whoa! Days are so fast that you don't even know that the exams are fast approaching. These days are soo cold, as in cold! Feeling like you're getting chilled every time you went outside.

So, what happened to my week... Let me start from the main cause of my little agony. Okay, let me retell my atm card story so you can relate with me even just a little. It started last January 9, Friday when the 'IDH pharmacy angels' went on our duty, well this is our first time to have an over night duty, a little bit excited and a little bit sleepy, we made our duty, fighting the sleepiness just to last up to 8 am of January 10.

What happened on January 10?

After we went home, changed from my duty uniform, I lay my weary body on the comfy bed and closed my eyes. I definitely fell asleep until about 4 pm . When I woke up, I took a bath and went out to deliver my used clothes to the laundry shop. After that, I went alone to the nearest atm machine, (not in the school grounds), I'm hopeful to get money for me to eat my late lunch and merienda and get allowance for the following week. I feel happy having slept for almost 7 hours but then the happiness suddenly fade away, to make it short my card was captured.=( I asked the guard about it, and he just told me to follow it up on the next working day which is Monday. Luckily, I still have my savings, I didn't starve.

Monday came, after my morning class I went immediately to the bank again to ask about my card, since it is a generic card (card who don't have the name of the owner) the bank will not release it. I am about to cry because I have no money and I need to pay my tuition fee. I call my mom, telling her what happened, and because she's in an important meeting, she would just call me after. I went back to school and then after, had my duty again.

Tuesday follows, I didn't eat my lunch because I slept. Went to school and after the first class in the afternoon, went to the sea port to get my pass book just to be disappointed because the "manugbantay of the padalas" is not around and I need to attend my next class in a short while because I can't afford to be absent. There, I walked and rode the jeepney back to school just in time. After doing my experiment, I asked my teacher if I could go first because I need to get the passbook before the closing time, thankfully she allowed me (big thanks Mam Jac!).. When I got my passbook and the money just for my tuition, I went to the branch where my atm was captured just to make an OTC withdrawal, then disappointment strucked me again, I can't get my money because the branch in Bacolod where I opened my account was already closed and they can't get the approval. (how sad)

Wednesday, the most depressing thing that happened. I went to the same branch again to have a withdrawal yet the same teller who told me that I can't get my card back was the one in front of me, I feel like backing out after seeing her, she's making me feel so bad. I asked her about the situation then she look at my pass book. Here are the exact conversation:

Mahal:"hmmm...la ni xa atm mam?"

Joy:"ang atm ni gani, mu to xa ang na capture sng machine na indi niyo pag ibalik sa akon. gin pdala na lang ni gani ang passbook ko kay na hambalan na ang branch sa bacolod na ma otc na lang ko."

Mahal:"sorry ma'am, kay wala kami naga accept sang outside sa iloilo na transactions kay inter branch ni xa, kilanlan pa namon ang approval sng bacolod araneta."

Joy:"teh panu na lang ni miss? kay need ko gid ang money b" (still calm yet my blood is rising)

Mahal:"la di bi mam ang amon manager, pwede balik ka lang mga 230?"

Joy:"May duty pa ko galing, mu lang gid ni bi ang time ko subong kay may class man ko bwas until 6 and duty ko gid bi subong" (i feel like crying at this very moment)

Mahal:"try mo bi mam sa pinakalapit na branch, kay basi ara ila bm, sa central b mam, pakadto ka sa may central market, may mga raya da sang banks, nd man b wpwede sa quezon"

Joy:"pwede sa delgado?" (is she thinking that i don't know where are the other branches? masakay pa ko bala miss jeep magpa central samtang pwede ko man lang malakat pakadto sa delgado...grrr...*sa brain ko lang na)

Mahal:"pwede man mam, try mo lang"

I get back my passbook after saying a little thanks that I didn't know if she heard it, walked to Delgado while trying to stop my tears from falling ( I really look like a bum, a child na daw kaluloy bala aw, daw buang na galakat while mouthing words that people are looking at me.

When I arrived at Delgado, I asked a teller about my status or case she told me to went directly to their manager...

Manager Vic:"ano tani ma'am?"

Joy:"sir, pwede ko ka over the counter withdraw?"

Manager Vic:"wala ni xa atm mam haw?"

Joy:"may ara, pero na capture sa may Ledesma, kay nag shut off ang computer, teh in galing nila pag balik kay la b name."

Manager Vic:"ano hambal nila nga.a nagkadto ka pa di haw?"

Joy:"indi ko kuno pwede ka otc, kay inter branch daun la pa ila nga BM"

Manager Vic:"ay sa Bacolod pa ni gali?"

Joy:"huo, kay taga Bacolod ko bi, diri lang ko ga school kay la bi didto Pharma"

Manager Vic:"ah, la to pharma gali?"

Joy:"wala"

Manager Vic:" may ID ka da? mahulam lang ko, kay ma e-mail pa ko na sa branch didto, may klase ka pa?

Joy:"may duty pa ko sir"

Manager Vic:"lunch ka lang anay, balik ka lang after, basi ara na, kay basi di ko ka immediate kwa approval kay basi nag break man to bala ang BM sa araneta, ka lunch ka na?"

Joy:"la pa, cge thank you"

I went and have my lunch, oh not lunch, I think it's merienda because I don't have the appetite to eat. After eating, I went back to the bank and there it is on his table.

Manager Vic:"line lang da lihog ma'am kay ok na"

Joy:"thank you gid sir" (with a smile)

Then to make it short, I have money! hehe, went duty even I'm late.

Let's just skip Thursday, let's forward to Friday, last day of the class, attended the departmental mass, have my duty up to 5 am of today, went directly to the pier with my duty clothes on and fighting the cold of the early morning wind. Went home and sleep without letting the people at home know that I'm home, and have my dinner with them! A really good dinner!=)

That's my not so good week,yet let's just charge it to experience!=)

Profit or Service???

AS a pharmacy student, I have always met the line ‘profit or service’. If I’m made to choose, I’d choose service. Service from the heart is free, you don’t have to pay for it, your only capital is your big heart, extending hands and your mind—your will to help others With these investment, you will gain a lot more than money could offer.

Money on the other hand is also important. But money can be found, it will come and go. It may make you happy or even sad. It isn’t permanent, thus, is doesn’t last.

I just want to share what I have experienced during my community internship in one of the pharmacies in this city. I have seen and heard it all. My conscience can’t take it anymore. So let me share you a story regarding of a more profit—less service concept of this pharmacy.

Are you aware that some of the medicines given to you are expired? Yes, you read it right. The pharmacy I’m talking about are giving you expired drugs. I have seen the clerks erase the expiration date in one of the drugs and put it back into the shelf again together with the new ones. The expiration date was a month before, and it was erased right in front of me. If I am a child, I would actually think that what she is doing is right and it is for the better, but I am no longer a child to think that way. So before you leave, check your medicines for tampering and for the expiration date. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Next, they’re not giving a discount on senior citizens. The price for the seniors and for the non-seniors is the same. They tell the seniors that the price has been discounted when actually it hasn’t. The price the senior will get to pay is the same to a non-senior if you’ll get to see their receipts.

There’s a lot more about this pharmacy that you wouldn’t longer want to hear because it will just cause you disappointment and blow the lighted candle in your heart.

I have learned a lot during my internship—that not all you know in school is applicable in the outside world, where there is competition and money involved. I also learned that you must not expect something because you will really be disappointed for what you’ll see.

I will be a future pharmacist, and I want to change the wrong I’ve seen. Service—is what I want to offer to everyone. So, for other future pharmacists and those who are already pharmacists, let us live for service. #

What I Learned from Experience

I just want to share my experience and what I learned from it. Last, January 9,2009 we had our duty from 2:25 pm 'til 8:25 am on the next day, it's about 18 hours I think.

What did we do during duty hours: stand, sit, familiarize the medicines on the shelves, copy charge slips on the notebook, talk with the staffs on duty, make fun of ourselves to ease the boredom, and the most exciting part was using the computer and talking with the patients-- dispensing... I slept for about an hour or two (hehe, we closed the pharmacy for indexing by the way, so we had nothing to do...thanks for the kind pharmacist on duty-- Mam Ella).

Walking down the road to our boarding house and when my body touched our bed, there I feel like I'm floating and angels are singing, I woke up around 4pm, took a bath, and went to the nearest BDO atm machine to withdraw but then the saddest part was my card was captured and the machine was temporarily out of service.

I feel like crying but then, the machine will not give back my card even if I do, then there's a lot of people there, I am ashamed to cry in front of them. I walked home and get my uniform from the laundry shop, masking my sadness through my smile, I went out to eat (breakfast,lunch,snacks and dinner in one meal).

I eat out loud as if I starved for days. Then I realized that I am indeed so lucky, not only lucky but blessed. I will share what I learned.

1. It is really good if you have savings, not all the time you have money in your pocket, wallet or atms. Just like me, "I'm wise like my grandma" I have savings that saved me from starvation and nearly ulceration.(hehe... be a wise money spender, don't rush and save more.)

2. I am blessed that I have plenty of food to eat, not like the street children I can see near the school grounds, downtowns, in overpasses, and in sidewalks. We must learn how to share what we have, and let's not waste food, I had experience the feeling of eating nothing with in 18 hours and the feeling is not good, it's unbearable. I don't want to feel it again.

3. I am so lucky that I can speak,read,write and most of all understand the universal language--English, unlike other races. Because when I was lining at the food store to eat, I was behind two koreans, he asked his friends what they want "ku-la" or eys-ti", then I suppress my laughter maybe I'll get home with a black eye or I can't even walk at all after I laugh. I realized that he was asking if they want "cola or iced tea" then it occurs to me that Filipinos are so lucky because we can understand and speak even just a little. Go Pinoy!

4. I learned that there are a lot of people who cares about me and willing to help me when I'm in need. I really appreciate all of them. A very big thanks to them, you know who you are.

5. I also learned that taking up Pharmacy is not an easy thing to do, and life in a hospital is so toxic, so a salute for the doctors,Pharmacists and nurses too... Keep up the good work.

6. Lastly, I learned that I am so loved by God because I am alive up to now and I learned a lot.

I still got experiences that I learned a lot in life, maybe what happened is for my own good, that I may feel what the least fortunate brothers and sisters of ours felt. That it's hard to look for money, I also appreciated more what my parents sacrificed for our future.

I would like to thank my parents for the love and support and for the sacrifice you've done for our future's sake and also for the experienced I had for me to learn more, indeed you are a great teacher because I can't learn it from school.=)