my girls

I miss my girlfriends... I miss the times when we used to shop,eat,walk,talk,laugh,watch movies,had fun,study,doing some stuffs only we can do, talking in our own language. I just miss them so much. I miss the school where we met, know each other,became friends,and even more like sisters.

Mommy Jen: My mommy,I miss her calling me "nak", telling me to study, giving me some good advices and waking me up. I miss her smile and the way she is having her mood swings. I miss her scream of terror from the horror and suspense movies we had watch together. I miss her...

Tati: I miss her boyish voice, the way she speaks, the way she moves, the way she laugh and I miss her stories that made me wonder how she came up with it! LOL

Mai: This is my partner in crime, my alter ego, my twin, my sister,ally and she's all that! I miss her because we've been together through good times and bad, through the lowest and highest peak. I miss her because we are sisters! I miss her because she's one of the best!

I just miss my girls and I am excited to see them again!

Missing it!

It's been a decade since I last posted a blog and I miss it! I miss the feeling of freely expressing my thoughts into something that could remind me that I truly exist and as of now still living in this world.

I missed a lot of sharing, I missed Christmas,new year,valentine's,graduation, and passing the board exam blogs. I can not remember the entire thing I wish I had written. I just miss my brains for the past months. I think my brain had an AWOL. LOL!

Now, I am asking myself what did I do for the past few months? Days passed us so fast and every minute counts. Every memory lives. I wish I had been so determined and diligent to post something up even just a paragraph or two so that I could go back to the days and can say I was alive, still living and still be breathing.

I can say that time is so fast, seeing my nephew grow in front of my very own eyes, the way he gains weight,and the way he eats. It makes me wonder how my life had become since I passed the board exam and had the R.Ph. after my name.

I am trying to write something up, but I can't finish it, it is done in my mind but I don't know how to put it into paper. Maybe I should stick into blogging because it is more exciting and easy. I had the so called "writer's block" as they say, and maybe I need a different setting or environment to come up with something. Or maybe and intense emotion to have the courage to put it in paper.

I miss this blog and I miss my blogmates too. I have been away and now I can say I am back!

I am ME!!!

I can’t sleep and I don’t intend to sleep either. I will attend the dawn mass later and I need to finish studying PHARMACEUTICAL MARKETING! It’s very long and there’s a whole lot to memorize. The book is just plain boring with all the hundrends and thousands of words to read. I need just a little break from reading, so here I am tapping the keyboard, and I missed this blog!

WELCOME TO THE BLOGOSPHERE!!!

Before I went to this blog, I was posting a bulletin, and I thought that instead of putting it in the bulletin that can only allow 4000 characters, and I know it’s not enough for all the words and the things I need to say. I just posted something about someone whom I think I love??? (WHOA! It’s just a cliche… I am honestly single and waiting for him to come).

I am just a girl, yes, I know I’m a little bit a hopeless romantic kid, who believes in happy endings and “ideal guy” that may or may not exist in reality. I am jolly and happy, I laugh at the most shallow things I could see or hear, or sometimes even to myself! I sometimes cry to the most corny and sad romantic stories. I love to read romance as well as other themes, ( I actually love to read), I believe in magic and fairies. I do believe in the existence of angels and of course of GOD. I may be ideal, I believe that there’s always good in everyone, even though some may act so rude. I smile a lot, talk to strangers, trust my heart to whoever, give my friendship to everyone, smile at everybody (though sometimes it really hurts), I may be sometimes dumb and numb, I may be at times smarter than you think or even the most stupid person you’ve ever talked to. I am so complicated yet so simple. I may be kind of difficult to read or too easy to understand. I am ironically made. I may fall in love easily and in the end may fall out too, but when I love a person, I love that person wholeheartedly no matter what that person thinks of me or even if they will not reciprocate the love I gave them. I am very understanding and sometimes I get pissed off too! I sometimes just erupt like a volcano when my patience reach its limits. I am loving, and playful.I love music and art (though I don’t really know how to draw), I really appreciate the work of art and I really love to write (I admit, I’m not that good enough), and read literary pieces by different writers, may it be poems to short stories to novels and fantasies!

* I like guys who are smart and witty, good in numbers and who could write (literary work) with correct grammar! (As if my grammar is perfect). Who are also good in strategy games and who could speak even just a little of CHINESE and JAPANESE (it’s okay if it’s broken)…
* I also like a guy who could play at least two musical instruments and can sing as well… (violin,piano,cello,guitar,and drums are highly recommended)…
* Then, also the one who could dance (a very plus points)
* A guy who could play a sport (any ball game, especially basketball and soccer or tennis)… I want him to be sporty…
* A guy who could cook meals for me (I don’t to do all the cooking, I also want to be serve to)
* A guy who could tame me yet who could give in to my pleas! (I want to be spoiled…joke)
* A guy who would attend mass with me and my family…
* A guy who could understand me and can compliment my weakness…
* A guy who would line up the cinema booth just to get a ticket for the movie I like to watch
* A guy who will fight for his love for me
* A guy whom I can laugh and cry with
* A guy who will not be jealous for my friends
* A guy who will love my family
* A guy who will hug me when I’m depressed and will just listen to what I am saying and will comment after
* A guy who will tell the world how much he loves me
* A guy who will change his bad ways just for my sake
* A guy who will understand that I have my own world
* A guy who will sing for me when I’m down
* A guy whom can I call in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep
* A guy who knows how to pray and trust GOD
* A guy who could not fly but can walk with me
* A guy who could surprise me even in an ordinary day
* A guy whom I could watch anime with
* A guy who will support every thing I do
* A guy who will accept me for who I am
* A guy who will do everything he can just to be with me, just to see me smile and just to prove that he loves me
* A guy who will not get jealous to the people that i may have a crush on
* A guy who will trust me and be faithful
* A guy who could take a joke
* All I need is a guy, strong enough not to leave me… I don’t need a superman, all I need is a man, a man strong enough to prove his love!

I am me, I am ideal, I am optimistic, I am faithful and I trust in BIG DAD’s judgment. I know that he’s looking for the perfect “count” just for me and I know that he’s on his way to find me, I know that I will meet him one of this days, if not, I know for sure that BIG DAD is just waiting for me to mature so that I could handle the situation if the time comes, I know for myself that I’m not yet ready to meet him. I know that in the perfect time and place the perfect timing will come and I will have my own happy ending with the one DAD sent for me and made for me, the one who could compliment me and the one meant for me. I know that he is looking for me too. And I don’t need to wish upon a star because God’s plan is still the best blue print ever made! And my love story will soon end in “and they live happily ever after”.

In love with you

Hmmm... I really don't know how to construct the first sentence of this paragraph or this blog... I just don't know what will I type... I keep on deleting the words I've typed. I wish there's someone to dictate me the words to keep me going.

I had a dream this afternoon, and it was so good. I had good dreams these past few days, but I really don't know the meaning of the dream, if it is a continuation of my previous dreams or a new one.

My dream is actually bizarre, I've dreamt of someone not familiar but whose face and smile made me feel like I've known him forever, like I can be who I am with him, someone who complete the puzzle, I can remember clearly his face but the sad thing was, when I woke up, I can't remember him, but the feeling of love is still present.

I don't know if it happens to everyone else, but I really don't understand what I feel for my dream guy, because that's the usual case for him in my dreams, that when I woke up I can't see his face (it's blurred in my memory) but the way my heart beats and the way I feel is different (somewhat alive or real).And I know that the guy in my dreams is just one guy!

Maybe I'm in love with him, even if I haven't seen him at all... But all I need to do is wait and be patient for the one sent by BIG DAD!=)

My Sem Break

It's been a while since I posted. I was kind of busy in the past weeks. Yeah! First sem is finally over and I just enrolled for the sem. The last sem of my college life. And it should turn out to be a great one. I promised myself that I should get serious (bagong-buhay), make the most out of it. I was a little disappointed for my low grades in the last sem, so I must keep up.

I should be blogging about the weeks that I had the break. I can't call it a break because we keep on coming back to school to re-do our thesis because of the lost data. I don't have the right to complain about doing the thesis again but I'm just a little frustrated because instead of spending this time for my family and reviewing, I spent it doing the work (of course together with my groupmates.)

I actually spent the last week of vacation in the hospital. I was admitted, for about five long days. And it was a week full of pain. Let me retell the story why, I was admitted.

Wednesday, October 21,2009

The three of us had dinner (mommy,may2), then I suddenly feel so tired and I said to myself that I think I will be sick. I can really feel the chill in my bones while we were walking back home. I just tweet and got ready for bed, because I know that I should better take a rest, for I thought I'm just stressed with the thesis making and all... Then, May2x played the phenomenal game (Plants vs. Zombies) and I was just there watching and waiting for sleep to come, but then hours passed and I'm still wide awake. Around 11 in the evening, I feel the cold, and I feel my body temperature rise. I took my thermometer and got my temperature of about 38 C. I was not afraid, but then I am having some dizziness and I can't sleep well.

I slept for hours and then woke up, feeling the cold, as if it's winter. Put on my jogging pants, jacket and socks. I can feel that I'm shivering with cold, so from the usual "no-kumot-while-sleeping" I suddenly feel the urge to use it. I took some paracetamol and thought that it will all be over when I wake up.

Thursday, October 22,2009

I took a half bath, I'm a little excited to go to school because we will do the statistics and I will pass my birth certificate to the office. When I am waiting in the office, the creeping cold, came again. So I really need some protection from this coldness I have, but then, the sun is up and it's very hot normally, but not for me. I think I'm being put into the refrigerator. I asked our group leader if I could go home to our boarding house because I can't take it anymore. When I arrived, I slept and when I woke up and took my temperature,it was as high as 40 C. So I told my mother about it, she called me, and told me that I should go home. My sister doc, scolded me because I didn't tell her about my condition. So my friends, sent me to the pier and I went home.

My fever is going on and off. But then, I don't have the appetite to eat. I am vomiting and I spent my days in bed. I was so sick.

Friday, October 23

I had my check up, and had some urinalysis and cbc and platelet count. The doctor said I had UTI and tonsilitis so she gave me antibiotic and just continue taking my paracetamol. Still I am vomiting and I just want some water, no more, no less.

Saturday, October 24

Still, the same is happening, even if I don't have my fever anymore, I feel better but then I'm still vomiting. So my sister, told my mom that if I continue vomiting I should be admitted.

Sunday, October 25

I vomited! So, i was brought to the hospital to be admitted. I was in the Emergency room and I should be given electrolytes, so they are trying to give me an IV. My hands are so battered because I was injected 3 times for the dextrose. My veins are too thin and they tend to collapse. I was having the NSS.

Monday, October 26

My cbc and platelet was checked. And then, my platelet is low, then I was under observation. Then after that, I am being checked twice a day for the platelet count. Feeling the pain, of the syringe, as if it is just nothing for me, had my x-ray and all. I feel the pain with every needle that is injected to my hands, and withdrawing some blood. And it is repeated for how many days.

Thursday, October 29

I was discharged. And I feel so happy, because I can get rid of the NSS and the pain! But then, traces of the injected part is still visible! But, I am fine, just need a little more care.

I just want to thank all the people who visited me and prayed for my past recovery. I know that even if they didn't visit me, they care and I know deep with in their hearts that they are thinking of my safety. I understand that they are busy too... =)

Life's Survival Kit

I just want to share the thoughts of this text message I found in my stored messages. It came from my sister whose a doctor as well as my mentor and one of my inspiration.

Life's survival kit:

>>toothpick<< to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others.
..No matter how bad they may seem, there is always good inside them, there is no pure evil in this world, we just have to see them in a positive and good way to appreciate who they really are. Who are we to judge them? Do we really know them, that we had the right to give some bias judgement? We don't even know their real stories..

>>rubberband<< to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you want, but it will work out.
..you must always be prepared and expect the unexpected, always be ready for the things that might go your way, you will never know what will happen in the future but you must be ready to face it, acceptance, trust and faith in God will help you.

>>band aid<< to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone's else.
..you must learn to forgive and forget, Jesus himself forgives all of us, and undergone painful experience for our sake, being hurt is part of our lives and we can't sometimes avoid it, we just need to learn how to heal ourselves and if we can heal others, let's just help. If you hurt others, then you must try to heal them, help them, ease some burden, but we can only heal them if we, ourselves are not wounded.

>>pencil<< to remind you to list your blessings everyday.
..every little thing that comes into your life is a blessing, you can never count all the blessings you received and will be receiving, just a little effort of gratitude to the Maker is one way. Being a live is worth listing for, having your family and even just the sun or the rain is worth listing as blessing. Be thankful that God is so thoughtful.

>>eraser<< to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay.
..no one is perfect and it's okay to make mistake because we are not GOD. we are human, we are sinners, we just need to accept that in our life we can make mistakes and we can erase them by starting a new life and a new chapter of change. God is a forgiving God and he will understand, and accept you wholeheartedly.

>>chewing gum<< to remind you to stick with God and you can accomplish anything.
..this is the most important part of your survival kit that you must not lose, and must be use wisely. With God, we are invincible, with Him we can do all things that's impossible. God is our only aid, an all around friend, and He will not abandon us, we just have the faith in Him. God is good all the time.!=0

Just remember this life's survival kit, for sure you're safe.!=)

Famealy Day!

Yehey! This will be my 3rd blog entry this month. A little late to start though. Whoa! It is the after birthday celebration, yes, yesterday was my birthday but I just celebrated it this afternoon with my trustworthy friends.

I should celebrate it yesterday with them but then there's a little change in schedule so it was postponed till this afternoon. (I had a game and meeting the last time, they understood).

I am just a little saddened that I can't treat everyone in my last year with them, so I just treated my close friends. Economy is very unstable at the moment and I really thank my mom for having the initiative to give me some bucks to treat my friends. We are in a tight budget but then I didn't ask for money because I know that my parents have a lot of things to handle especially in money matters. I was not born in a silver spoon and we are not rich. Every penny out of our pockets are counted, maybe I was just born to be a wise spender so I don't have to ask every time for money when I need it. That's the trait my mom is proud of me, she trusts me and she knows that if she would give me a million, for sure there will be something left.

As I type this, I can remember my childhood where I really want to own some business, I'm business minded and I really want to be rich to help others because I know how it is to be poor. I know how people judge you, especially the "matapobre" people of the country and those who are practicing crab mentality. We lived in a small house, "stay where you are" type, but we eat 3 square meals a day. My parents didn't have a degree but I am proud of them because they raised us up well and they are attending to all our needs,they don't want us to suffer, so they sacrifice a lot for us, sweat and skipped meals to look for money, maybe we're just so blessed that we know God and we just trust HIM. Just what my mom said, "we are not rich, and we don't have something to leave behind when we're gone, the only thing that we can give you that can't be taken away by anyone is faith and the education you have, don't hesitate to ask for our help because you are our responsibility and that's what we can do to help you, we can find ways if you badly need financial support, our father in heaven will send His graces for us, don't be shy because we love you" and I always keep that in my mind. But then I just can't help myself to be shy to ask for some because I know their hardships.

So back to my birthday treat,before I cry. Nanay (Love2x), Ate Wan (Charling), Ate Chou(Tati),Ate Tres (Sister), Ate Por (May2x), Mommy (Jen, sister (Nex), Utol (Paul), and our adopted sister (Iana) went to Greenwich Rob after our Phar Ad Class. Sorry for some who had not come with us, even if I want to, I'm on a tight budget. We had fun, we made some fun videos, we talked and laugh out loud as if we own the place, we reminisced our friendships and experiences, we look forward for the future, and that really made me happy, don't worry about money, I can have it afterwards, I just had fun with them and that memory will always be present in my heart so that if I have some memory gap or Alzheimer's in the near future,my heart can still recall the feeling. I just love my friends, and that all matters. Don't worry because once I reach my dream and became rich, for sure I'll treat everyone not only in Greenwich! hehe...

I need to sign off, I'm too tired yet happy this day! Thanks everyone, don't forget to pray and I love you!=)