Reminiscing the PAST!

First of all, I just want to share that I am happy right now because I am home... This reminds me of the times when I was still a kid, I am always alone at home.=(

When I was young, I am always doing things on my own, I grew up to be independent because I can't depend on someone, that they are always there to assist me. I can still remember the times when I was in the first grade, my mom would bring me to school and see that I am seated on my seat and then she will go to her office. And when I will look out of the window, I see no one. Not even her shadow can be found. I would cry and my classmates would look at me as if I am an abnormal child, but some of them would just tell me that she will be right back or she just went in the canteen. My teacher will tell me everything she knows that would console me, just like "nagbuy lang ice cream si nanay mo, mabalik man na siya karon...sulod na di kag mag copy." I will obey her and ginapasalig akon bu-ot na mabalik siya. I will copy notes from the board and get it checked by my teacher, then ask if my mom returned. I was the cry baby of the room. It's as if it is my routine everyday, look at the window and find out she's gone, cry, copy notes,wait... Until I got immuned by the feeling and accept that she can't be with me always.

A little history of the past...

My family came from nothing, we came from rags. I can't say that right now we are rich, I can just say we are blessed because of hardwork and perseverance and of course because of PRAYER,DEVOTIONS and ANGELS. People will tease me of being the "Avon girl" but they don't know that it is the source of income of my family. It is the one that pulled us up and give us financial support.

My dad was once a mechanic, that's why I love cars! He can assemble cars for drag race, that's why when I have a job, I'll buy an old model of Lancer (Mitsubishi) and let him manipulate the machine to be a drag race car! hehe... My mom is a plain housewife then, but since she has dreams for us to "makapagtapos ng pag-aaral" and "indi niyo ma agyan ang na agyan namon sa kapigadohon, tanan amon antuson, para sa inyo", so my mom can't take it anymore, tried anything to make money, until she joined AVON. Right now, she's harvesting the fruits of her labors... My parents now have a doctor, CPA, future chem eng'r and of course a future pharmacist! Nyahaha..

enough...

Past is past, we need to move on, but we need the past to let us remember where we came from... The only thing that my parents' can give us are: their love, support, faith in God, prayer and devotion, the values and the close family tie we have... and to live with God in the center of our lives is the greatest thing ever...=)

I am really having a hard time making a blog, I have lots of idea in my mind yet I can't put them into writing. I just love to think of them, to keep them to myself. I am having an emotional conversation with my mother just right now. And my mind keeps on swirling, I am having a homesickness right now! Oh! (Kung di-in nag 3rd year, daw didto pa nag tukar ang pagkabata!)

I really miss my family! I'm dying to see them! (exclamation point gid na ya, nagpapahiwatig ng matinding damdamin!) I am really having a hard time, but a little sacrifice and it will be alright! It is for my future! Hmmm... Speaking of future, I am seeing myself as a pharmacist, if not a doctor maybe! hehe...

When did I decided to take this up?

When I was a child, I really wanted to be a stewardess or a pilot! (nyahaha! I just love to travel!) I even asked my mom, "Nay, nu na ang course na galagaw ka lang pu damo ka kwarta nay man? Gina sweldohan ka bala pu la ka ubra, malagaw ka lang sa iban na lugar haw?" My mom just laugh at me, and told me "la ka handom sa kabuhi mo ya? Mu lang gid na ya? teh maging proud ka na bala sa ulihi?" (kag naghipos ang tanan! hehe). I was a kid then, but my mom really told us to have a dream, to set a goal. To be an achiever. I was an achiever when I was young, but then i don't know what happened to me! I was now an average, as if I am not excelling in what I do! (This is what I hate 'bout myself).

Highschool came, everyone wants to enroll in nursing, planning to take this course up, but I don't know why I don't like to take this up. I don't have love for this course! Yet, I took some entrance exams in schools offering this coourse and passed them all. Then, one evening during the family dinner, they asked me what to take up, looks like I'm caught in the middle, didn't know what to answer, and then I asked back, "nu course ang nami man, except nursing?" Then my eldeest sister suggested PHARMACY! Baby asked, "nami man na nang?" there, my eyes twinkled as if the heaven opened its gate and angels are blowing the trumpets! I have the answer! "Ma Pharmacy na lang ko nay ah! No retreat, no surrender! Sure na!"

That's where it started.. A little conversation, and that's it. My mom is always telling us na kung ano ang nasuguran taposon, bisan ano ka budlay sulungon! Well, here I am... 3rd year and in the second semester... A little bit more and I can finish what Iv'e started. Since that conversation, it was tattoed on my mind and my heart that I will be a pharmacist in the near future! But right now, I am in doubt if I will pass or fail, all I know God has plans for me, He will never abandon me, I am His child anyway!

I just want to share my love letter... Coming from my mom... It was given to me when I was still in first year, when she visited me at the dorm! (Sosyal, sang una ga bisita pa, subong la na!) I will state not entirely the whole letter... But some details, just a part of it!=) She wishes me to study harder because I am now starting to plant the seeds of my future. That my success is also there success. "When the time comes when you feel that you're alone always remember, we are here for you. When you feel that nobody loves you, we are here for you because we love you. God is always there for you! We only want the BEST for you!" I am really touched by my mom's letter... Actually, she just left it at my bed before she went home!

Here's the p.s. of the letter:

Drink your vitamins everyday...
Eat when you're hungry...
Sleep when you're sleepy...
Study when there is need for you to study, do your homework and study for the exams...
Be humble, always give love to others.
The more you give, the more you receive.

I could not ask for more... After weeks or even months of not posting, I came back to my senses and will be returning for more... watch out for the upcoming blogs that will either make you hate me because I'm bad, laugh at me because I'm silly, or love me because I'm a cutie!=)

ps... cheet, ara na blog ko! wahaha! kalma lang kay kung di ko busy ma pa ulan ko blog!=)