Birthday 2009

An hour ago after my birthday. Here I am tapping on the keyboards instead of sleeping and dreaming. I just want to put this on writing, my happiness, frustrations and what I really feel.

Yeah! I turned 20, I can accept that I'm out of my teenage years and I am now a young adult. I am happy because I was at home for 3 nights. The first two nights were spent in my elder sister's bedroom because she missed me a lot and the second reason was, we had a visitor so as the usual custom, my room was turned into an instant guest room
(I'm not at home most of the time). On my last night, I spent it at my own room, I missed my bed so much!

My Happiness:

On the 26th day of September I wished to have some chocolates on my birthday and sent some messages to my friends (I'm making pabati-bati). I went to the novena mass and then my mom told us that we will have a visitor, so I made up my room and made it presentable, then we fetch him at the terminal and we ate dinner at around eleven, it's actually a second dinner for me. (That's what I love at home, I can eat the food I want to eat). Then a bag of chocolates came from my cousin. A lot for me to eat! wohoo... Chocoholic!

On the 27th day of September, woke up early and fixed some breakfast, went back to sleep and woke up again to eat. Took a bath and ready myself for some kind of family lunch outside (yeah, an early celebration. Too bad my sister in PGH was not around and my brother in law too). My mom planned to have some food for my friends, then I texted them, a little soon, if only I had known then I should've invited some friends to come over. My sister and I went to have a grocery. I prepared the salad while she cooked the spaghetti. A little something for me after all. Mommy Jen, Aida, Donna, Julyn and Leomar went to our home, while some of my friends didn't come. It was a late invitation though.

The day came, I was watching the BOF finale episode when my phone was bombarded by text messages that wishing me a happy birthday, replied to them and went to sleep. Then early in the morning, still sleepy yet read the messages again, replied and sleep. By 10:00 am I was in the pier ready to go back to school for the 1:00 pm make up class. That turned out to be a no class but an online exam, by 3:00pm we should have the research class but then our teacher didn't meet us up because of some reasons and we understand her a lot.

I didn't know that we had another game, so I went to the gym and ready myself for the said game. I was happy then, we had some 8 points lead from our opponent in the second quarter but then she came and we lost hope. Especially I, who knows my fate when she's around. Bench girl all the same. I was a little frustrated. I don't have something against her but I just can't keep it to myself anymore. I just need justice. I just don't like the way she coach us, she doesn't even know what we can do inside the court in a real game even our names, how frustrating. Then, she's not giving us a fair chance to prove ourselves to be part of the team. I just don't like it, it's the second time I was just seating on the bench and that was the last game we had.I'm sooooo sad that on my birthday, I didn't touch the ball even just for a second, not even stepped on the court, didn't perspire, and I was the only one who just sat there. I feel so down and I pity myself. I'm thinking that it was better that I didn't join the team and just cheer for them together with my friends than be on the team and just sit there as if I don't exist. She doesn't even know my name. It doesn't matter to me if we lost the game or win it, as long as it is fair enough for every member of the team to have fun and enjoy the game. To learn and gain some experience, it is my last year in the university and thanks for the uniform. Sorry, I just can't help myself from thinking, if she's not around I can feel the team glow and happy despite the lost games.=(

I was a little frustrate again because the people I expected to remember the special day of my life didn't even greet me. I was so disappointed, I'm trying to think of their excuses why they didn't remember,or if they remember why did they not greet me, maybe they don't have load, they are busy or even they don't have internet at home. But if they don't have load they can borrow from their friends and text at once, a minute is not that long enough though, I saw some of them online and yet not a simple hi or hello was spoken. It's ok for me but then I just don't understand that they can remember me when they need something, they can get my number if they are in trouble, they can chat with me about nonsense things but then they can't greet me.

Maybe I'm being childish here but I don't need gifts,I need friends, real friends. Friends who are there through thick and thin, up or down, in good and bad times, friends who will never abandon me, a simple happy birthday is enough, and then I can't receive it. Other people whom I don't know even greeted me, and I'm thankful for them.

Ok, enough of this sentiments, I should be happy not only today but because I am a happy person and just a little sleep and I'll be fine, by the way, I know his name now, another wish came true. God is with me all the time, and I still have my family and my trustworthy friends..=)