I think I am Falling For you Again

This letter is addressed to you.

You,

     We've known each other quite some time now, and we've talked a lot of things about this and that, everything under the sun and the moon, thinking of the future, but unlike lovers, we talked about our future separately. We talked about your family and mine. You always talk about the girl you want to marry while I am always listen very carefully, supporting your plans and agreeing with what you have in mind. You always talk about things you want to do with her, and your future babies, while I am just staring in the monitor whenever we are chatting, thinking of words and things to say to you, because every time we chat I feel so happy inside, I know I shouldn't but then little by little, my suppressed feelings for you are getting and getting so hard to resist.

   Do you still remember those times when you were the one who always waking me up in the morning? Those times when you said those three words every single sentence you said? Those times when you promised that I will be yours forever? But then, despite our happy times, the sad part came, we didn't break up because we never had the so-called relationship, we had our understandings, but then it never came to a point that we were committed. I admit I had loved you since then, and I don't know if I still do right now. I am very much confused of my feelings for you, we are friends, close enough but sometimes, I wanted it to be more than that, but then you're always telling me that you like someone and I know it will never be me. I know that you are just seeing me as a friend, that someone you could lean on, that someone who will listen to you, but not someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with, not someone whom you can call yours and yours alone. I know that I am not your ideal girl and you are not my ideal man either. You are the total opposite of what I want. And it hurts to know the fact that we could never have our own love story to be told.

    Why do I always end up getting hurt if all I do is to love someone? Why do I always end up being alone, and left behind when all I need is to be there by their side? Why do I always end up broken, when all I do is fixing things up? Why am I still single?