To Thee I pray

I am supposed to post something, but then Iron Man 3 diverted my attention and I tend to forgot the topic that has been on my mind since last week (I guess?)... I am still thinking about work in the middle of the night.

To tell you honestly, I loved being a pharmacist and I love my work so well, I can work all day long without complaining how tiring it is, but in the past months, I can really feel it. I can feel how tiring it is, especially when you can see that you're the only one doing your job well, and the others are just there, doing what they do best and that is (staring at you while you're working). How good would you feel about that?

I am not the type of person who would complain about petty things, if I could hold it, then I would, if I could just ignore it, then absolutely I would. I am very patient and kind, and maybe I'm wrong about it, I already rendered my resignation last September 2, 2013 and it is to be effective this October 2, but then my superior trashed it, she didn't want me to resign, it was actually my 3rd letter (as far as I can remember) and it was the 3rd refusal. I am really wondering why she's not willing to let go of me, because she approved resignation letters prior to mine. She asked my what were my reasons, I told her that it has nothing to do with work but rather with the people I'm working with. I am not happy anymore with the people that are surrounding me, because I feel that I am becoming someone I am not, I'm becoming someone I didn't want to. I know how to get mad, I learned how to scold others, it's like I'm becoming a monster and I never wanted that. I am having trouble with my conscience and my relationship with them.

I told my superior that I better quit than becoming someone I will regret in the future, to avoid the breakage of relationship, I better leave. I am not someone who will just sit there and see what's happening, but I am someone who does her job and even their jobs. (sigh) I don't know what to do anymore, especially now that I'm the one making the schedule. I know that they are talking behind my back because of their requests that were not granted. I don't know how to deal with them anymore.

I am just asking for more patience, strength and enlightenment. I lift them up to you, oh Lord. I badly need your help, please touch their hearts and clear their minds. Please help them with their stress and their problems. I am offering my weary and tired body to you, please heal me and let me by your side always. Please never ever let go of me. I thank you for always being there.