I am ME!!!

I can’t sleep and I don’t intend to sleep either. I will attend the dawn mass later and I need to finish studying PHARMACEUTICAL MARKETING! It’s very long and there’s a whole lot to memorize. The book is just plain boring with all the hundrends and thousands of words to read. I need just a little break from reading, so here I am tapping the keyboard, and I missed this blog!

WELCOME TO THE BLOGOSPHERE!!!

Before I went to this blog, I was posting a bulletin, and I thought that instead of putting it in the bulletin that can only allow 4000 characters, and I know it’s not enough for all the words and the things I need to say. I just posted something about someone whom I think I love??? (WHOA! It’s just a cliche… I am honestly single and waiting for him to come).

I am just a girl, yes, I know I’m a little bit a hopeless romantic kid, who believes in happy endings and “ideal guy” that may or may not exist in reality. I am jolly and happy, I laugh at the most shallow things I could see or hear, or sometimes even to myself! I sometimes cry to the most corny and sad romantic stories. I love to read romance as well as other themes, ( I actually love to read), I believe in magic and fairies. I do believe in the existence of angels and of course of GOD. I may be ideal, I believe that there’s always good in everyone, even though some may act so rude. I smile a lot, talk to strangers, trust my heart to whoever, give my friendship to everyone, smile at everybody (though sometimes it really hurts), I may be sometimes dumb and numb, I may be at times smarter than you think or even the most stupid person you’ve ever talked to. I am so complicated yet so simple. I may be kind of difficult to read or too easy to understand. I am ironically made. I may fall in love easily and in the end may fall out too, but when I love a person, I love that person wholeheartedly no matter what that person thinks of me or even if they will not reciprocate the love I gave them. I am very understanding and sometimes I get pissed off too! I sometimes just erupt like a volcano when my patience reach its limits. I am loving, and playful.I love music and art (though I don’t really know how to draw), I really appreciate the work of art and I really love to write (I admit, I’m not that good enough), and read literary pieces by different writers, may it be poems to short stories to novels and fantasies!

* I like guys who are smart and witty, good in numbers and who could write (literary work) with correct grammar! (As if my grammar is perfect). Who are also good in strategy games and who could speak even just a little of CHINESE and JAPANESE (it’s okay if it’s broken)…
* I also like a guy who could play at least two musical instruments and can sing as well… (violin,piano,cello,guitar,and drums are highly recommended)…
* Then, also the one who could dance (a very plus points)
* A guy who could play a sport (any ball game, especially basketball and soccer or tennis)… I want him to be sporty…
* A guy who could cook meals for me (I don’t to do all the cooking, I also want to be serve to)
* A guy who could tame me yet who could give in to my pleas! (I want to be spoiled…joke)
* A guy who would attend mass with me and my family…
* A guy who could understand me and can compliment my weakness…
* A guy who would line up the cinema booth just to get a ticket for the movie I like to watch
* A guy who will fight for his love for me
* A guy whom I can laugh and cry with
* A guy who will not be jealous for my friends
* A guy who will love my family
* A guy who will hug me when I’m depressed and will just listen to what I am saying and will comment after
* A guy who will tell the world how much he loves me
* A guy who will change his bad ways just for my sake
* A guy who will understand that I have my own world
* A guy who will sing for me when I’m down
* A guy whom can I call in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep
* A guy who knows how to pray and trust GOD
* A guy who could not fly but can walk with me
* A guy who could surprise me even in an ordinary day
* A guy whom I could watch anime with
* A guy who will support every thing I do
* A guy who will accept me for who I am
* A guy who will do everything he can just to be with me, just to see me smile and just to prove that he loves me
* A guy who will not get jealous to the people that i may have a crush on
* A guy who will trust me and be faithful
* A guy who could take a joke
* All I need is a guy, strong enough not to leave me… I don’t need a superman, all I need is a man, a man strong enough to prove his love!

I am me, I am ideal, I am optimistic, I am faithful and I trust in BIG DAD’s judgment. I know that he’s looking for the perfect “count” just for me and I know that he’s on his way to find me, I know that I will meet him one of this days, if not, I know for sure that BIG DAD is just waiting for me to mature so that I could handle the situation if the time comes, I know for myself that I’m not yet ready to meet him. I know that in the perfect time and place the perfect timing will come and I will have my own happy ending with the one DAD sent for me and made for me, the one who could compliment me and the one meant for me. I know that he is looking for me too. And I don’t need to wish upon a star because God’s plan is still the best blue print ever made! And my love story will soon end in “and they live happily ever after”.

In love with you

Hmmm... I really don't know how to construct the first sentence of this paragraph or this blog... I just don't know what will I type... I keep on deleting the words I've typed. I wish there's someone to dictate me the words to keep me going.

I had a dream this afternoon, and it was so good. I had good dreams these past few days, but I really don't know the meaning of the dream, if it is a continuation of my previous dreams or a new one.

My dream is actually bizarre, I've dreamt of someone not familiar but whose face and smile made me feel like I've known him forever, like I can be who I am with him, someone who complete the puzzle, I can remember clearly his face but the sad thing was, when I woke up, I can't remember him, but the feeling of love is still present.

I don't know if it happens to everyone else, but I really don't understand what I feel for my dream guy, because that's the usual case for him in my dreams, that when I woke up I can't see his face (it's blurred in my memory) but the way my heart beats and the way I feel is different (somewhat alive or real).And I know that the guy in my dreams is just one guy!

Maybe I'm in love with him, even if I haven't seen him at all... But all I need to do is wait and be patient for the one sent by BIG DAD!=)

My Sem Break

It's been a while since I posted. I was kind of busy in the past weeks. Yeah! First sem is finally over and I just enrolled for the sem. The last sem of my college life. And it should turn out to be a great one. I promised myself that I should get serious (bagong-buhay), make the most out of it. I was a little disappointed for my low grades in the last sem, so I must keep up.

I should be blogging about the weeks that I had the break. I can't call it a break because we keep on coming back to school to re-do our thesis because of the lost data. I don't have the right to complain about doing the thesis again but I'm just a little frustrated because instead of spending this time for my family and reviewing, I spent it doing the work (of course together with my groupmates.)

I actually spent the last week of vacation in the hospital. I was admitted, for about five long days. And it was a week full of pain. Let me retell the story why, I was admitted.

Wednesday, October 21,2009

The three of us had dinner (mommy,may2), then I suddenly feel so tired and I said to myself that I think I will be sick. I can really feel the chill in my bones while we were walking back home. I just tweet and got ready for bed, because I know that I should better take a rest, for I thought I'm just stressed with the thesis making and all... Then, May2x played the phenomenal game (Plants vs. Zombies) and I was just there watching and waiting for sleep to come, but then hours passed and I'm still wide awake. Around 11 in the evening, I feel the cold, and I feel my body temperature rise. I took my thermometer and got my temperature of about 38 C. I was not afraid, but then I am having some dizziness and I can't sleep well.

I slept for hours and then woke up, feeling the cold, as if it's winter. Put on my jogging pants, jacket and socks. I can feel that I'm shivering with cold, so from the usual "no-kumot-while-sleeping" I suddenly feel the urge to use it. I took some paracetamol and thought that it will all be over when I wake up.

Thursday, October 22,2009

I took a half bath, I'm a little excited to go to school because we will do the statistics and I will pass my birth certificate to the office. When I am waiting in the office, the creeping cold, came again. So I really need some protection from this coldness I have, but then, the sun is up and it's very hot normally, but not for me. I think I'm being put into the refrigerator. I asked our group leader if I could go home to our boarding house because I can't take it anymore. When I arrived, I slept and when I woke up and took my temperature,it was as high as 40 C. So I told my mother about it, she called me, and told me that I should go home. My sister doc, scolded me because I didn't tell her about my condition. So my friends, sent me to the pier and I went home.

My fever is going on and off. But then, I don't have the appetite to eat. I am vomiting and I spent my days in bed. I was so sick.

Friday, October 23

I had my check up, and had some urinalysis and cbc and platelet count. The doctor said I had UTI and tonsilitis so she gave me antibiotic and just continue taking my paracetamol. Still I am vomiting and I just want some water, no more, no less.

Saturday, October 24

Still, the same is happening, even if I don't have my fever anymore, I feel better but then I'm still vomiting. So my sister, told my mom that if I continue vomiting I should be admitted.

Sunday, October 25

I vomited! So, i was brought to the hospital to be admitted. I was in the Emergency room and I should be given electrolytes, so they are trying to give me an IV. My hands are so battered because I was injected 3 times for the dextrose. My veins are too thin and they tend to collapse. I was having the NSS.

Monday, October 26

My cbc and platelet was checked. And then, my platelet is low, then I was under observation. Then after that, I am being checked twice a day for the platelet count. Feeling the pain, of the syringe, as if it is just nothing for me, had my x-ray and all. I feel the pain with every needle that is injected to my hands, and withdrawing some blood. And it is repeated for how many days.

Thursday, October 29

I was discharged. And I feel so happy, because I can get rid of the NSS and the pain! But then, traces of the injected part is still visible! But, I am fine, just need a little more care.

I just want to thank all the people who visited me and prayed for my past recovery. I know that even if they didn't visit me, they care and I know deep with in their hearts that they are thinking of my safety. I understand that they are busy too... =)

Life's Survival Kit

I just want to share the thoughts of this text message I found in my stored messages. It came from my sister whose a doctor as well as my mentor and one of my inspiration.

Life's survival kit:

>>toothpick<< to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others.
..No matter how bad they may seem, there is always good inside them, there is no pure evil in this world, we just have to see them in a positive and good way to appreciate who they really are. Who are we to judge them? Do we really know them, that we had the right to give some bias judgement? We don't even know their real stories..

>>rubberband<< to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you want, but it will work out.
..you must always be prepared and expect the unexpected, always be ready for the things that might go your way, you will never know what will happen in the future but you must be ready to face it, acceptance, trust and faith in God will help you.

>>band aid<< to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone's else.
..you must learn to forgive and forget, Jesus himself forgives all of us, and undergone painful experience for our sake, being hurt is part of our lives and we can't sometimes avoid it, we just need to learn how to heal ourselves and if we can heal others, let's just help. If you hurt others, then you must try to heal them, help them, ease some burden, but we can only heal them if we, ourselves are not wounded.

>>pencil<< to remind you to list your blessings everyday.
..every little thing that comes into your life is a blessing, you can never count all the blessings you received and will be receiving, just a little effort of gratitude to the Maker is one way. Being a live is worth listing for, having your family and even just the sun or the rain is worth listing as blessing. Be thankful that God is so thoughtful.

>>eraser<< to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay.
..no one is perfect and it's okay to make mistake because we are not GOD. we are human, we are sinners, we just need to accept that in our life we can make mistakes and we can erase them by starting a new life and a new chapter of change. God is a forgiving God and he will understand, and accept you wholeheartedly.

>>chewing gum<< to remind you to stick with God and you can accomplish anything.
..this is the most important part of your survival kit that you must not lose, and must be use wisely. With God, we are invincible, with Him we can do all things that's impossible. God is our only aid, an all around friend, and He will not abandon us, we just have the faith in Him. God is good all the time.!=0

Just remember this life's survival kit, for sure you're safe.!=)

Famealy Day!

Yehey! This will be my 3rd blog entry this month. A little late to start though. Whoa! It is the after birthday celebration, yes, yesterday was my birthday but I just celebrated it this afternoon with my trustworthy friends.

I should celebrate it yesterday with them but then there's a little change in schedule so it was postponed till this afternoon. (I had a game and meeting the last time, they understood).

I am just a little saddened that I can't treat everyone in my last year with them, so I just treated my close friends. Economy is very unstable at the moment and I really thank my mom for having the initiative to give me some bucks to treat my friends. We are in a tight budget but then I didn't ask for money because I know that my parents have a lot of things to handle especially in money matters. I was not born in a silver spoon and we are not rich. Every penny out of our pockets are counted, maybe I was just born to be a wise spender so I don't have to ask every time for money when I need it. That's the trait my mom is proud of me, she trusts me and she knows that if she would give me a million, for sure there will be something left.

As I type this, I can remember my childhood where I really want to own some business, I'm business minded and I really want to be rich to help others because I know how it is to be poor. I know how people judge you, especially the "matapobre" people of the country and those who are practicing crab mentality. We lived in a small house, "stay where you are" type, but we eat 3 square meals a day. My parents didn't have a degree but I am proud of them because they raised us up well and they are attending to all our needs,they don't want us to suffer, so they sacrifice a lot for us, sweat and skipped meals to look for money, maybe we're just so blessed that we know God and we just trust HIM. Just what my mom said, "we are not rich, and we don't have something to leave behind when we're gone, the only thing that we can give you that can't be taken away by anyone is faith and the education you have, don't hesitate to ask for our help because you are our responsibility and that's what we can do to help you, we can find ways if you badly need financial support, our father in heaven will send His graces for us, don't be shy because we love you" and I always keep that in my mind. But then I just can't help myself to be shy to ask for some because I know their hardships.

So back to my birthday treat,before I cry. Nanay (Love2x), Ate Wan (Charling), Ate Chou(Tati),Ate Tres (Sister), Ate Por (May2x), Mommy (Jen, sister (Nex), Utol (Paul), and our adopted sister (Iana) went to Greenwich Rob after our Phar Ad Class. Sorry for some who had not come with us, even if I want to, I'm on a tight budget. We had fun, we made some fun videos, we talked and laugh out loud as if we own the place, we reminisced our friendships and experiences, we look forward for the future, and that really made me happy, don't worry about money, I can have it afterwards, I just had fun with them and that memory will always be present in my heart so that if I have some memory gap or Alzheimer's in the near future,my heart can still recall the feeling. I just love my friends, and that all matters. Don't worry because once I reach my dream and became rich, for sure I'll treat everyone not only in Greenwich! hehe...

I need to sign off, I'm too tired yet happy this day! Thanks everyone, don't forget to pray and I love you!=)

Birthday 2009

An hour ago after my birthday. Here I am tapping on the keyboards instead of sleeping and dreaming. I just want to put this on writing, my happiness, frustrations and what I really feel.

Yeah! I turned 20, I can accept that I'm out of my teenage years and I am now a young adult. I am happy because I was at home for 3 nights. The first two nights were spent in my elder sister's bedroom because she missed me a lot and the second reason was, we had a visitor so as the usual custom, my room was turned into an instant guest room
(I'm not at home most of the time). On my last night, I spent it at my own room, I missed my bed so much!

My Happiness:

On the 26th day of September I wished to have some chocolates on my birthday and sent some messages to my friends (I'm making pabati-bati). I went to the novena mass and then my mom told us that we will have a visitor, so I made up my room and made it presentable, then we fetch him at the terminal and we ate dinner at around eleven, it's actually a second dinner for me. (That's what I love at home, I can eat the food I want to eat). Then a bag of chocolates came from my cousin. A lot for me to eat! wohoo... Chocoholic!

On the 27th day of September, woke up early and fixed some breakfast, went back to sleep and woke up again to eat. Took a bath and ready myself for some kind of family lunch outside (yeah, an early celebration. Too bad my sister in PGH was not around and my brother in law too). My mom planned to have some food for my friends, then I texted them, a little soon, if only I had known then I should've invited some friends to come over. My sister and I went to have a grocery. I prepared the salad while she cooked the spaghetti. A little something for me after all. Mommy Jen, Aida, Donna, Julyn and Leomar went to our home, while some of my friends didn't come. It was a late invitation though.

The day came, I was watching the BOF finale episode when my phone was bombarded by text messages that wishing me a happy birthday, replied to them and went to sleep. Then early in the morning, still sleepy yet read the messages again, replied and sleep. By 10:00 am I was in the pier ready to go back to school for the 1:00 pm make up class. That turned out to be a no class but an online exam, by 3:00pm we should have the research class but then our teacher didn't meet us up because of some reasons and we understand her a lot.

I didn't know that we had another game, so I went to the gym and ready myself for the said game. I was happy then, we had some 8 points lead from our opponent in the second quarter but then she came and we lost hope. Especially I, who knows my fate when she's around. Bench girl all the same. I was a little frustrated. I don't have something against her but I just can't keep it to myself anymore. I just need justice. I just don't like the way she coach us, she doesn't even know what we can do inside the court in a real game even our names, how frustrating. Then, she's not giving us a fair chance to prove ourselves to be part of the team. I just don't like it, it's the second time I was just seating on the bench and that was the last game we had.I'm sooooo sad that on my birthday, I didn't touch the ball even just for a second, not even stepped on the court, didn't perspire, and I was the only one who just sat there. I feel so down and I pity myself. I'm thinking that it was better that I didn't join the team and just cheer for them together with my friends than be on the team and just sit there as if I don't exist. She doesn't even know my name. It doesn't matter to me if we lost the game or win it, as long as it is fair enough for every member of the team to have fun and enjoy the game. To learn and gain some experience, it is my last year in the university and thanks for the uniform. Sorry, I just can't help myself from thinking, if she's not around I can feel the team glow and happy despite the lost games.=(

I was a little frustrate again because the people I expected to remember the special day of my life didn't even greet me. I was so disappointed, I'm trying to think of their excuses why they didn't remember,or if they remember why did they not greet me, maybe they don't have load, they are busy or even they don't have internet at home. But if they don't have load they can borrow from their friends and text at once, a minute is not that long enough though, I saw some of them online and yet not a simple hi or hello was spoken. It's ok for me but then I just don't understand that they can remember me when they need something, they can get my number if they are in trouble, they can chat with me about nonsense things but then they can't greet me.

Maybe I'm being childish here but I don't need gifts,I need friends, real friends. Friends who are there through thick and thin, up or down, in good and bad times, friends who will never abandon me, a simple happy birthday is enough, and then I can't receive it. Other people whom I don't know even greeted me, and I'm thankful for them.

Ok, enough of this sentiments, I should be happy not only today but because I am a happy person and just a little sleep and I'll be fine, by the way, I know his name now, another wish came true. God is with me all the time, and I still have my family and my trustworthy friends..=)

Who Is He?

It’s been a long time since I opened this blog… and it’s full of cobwebs, I believe. I would just like to share what I feel about my so called obsession with this guy-JAY CHOU!

When and where did I met him?

I first noticed him, when I watched the movie “SECRET” in mysoju (I think, I totally forgot!) and I find this guy cute, I was all eyes and ears while watching this… I find the girl cute too. Then, this guy captured my interest when he played the piano in a very expert and captivating way. That was then, I searched for this guy whenever I have the time..=)

I stated in my previous blog that I want a guy who can play at least 2 musical instruments. This guy can play the piano,cello,guitar,drums,etc.

I want someone who could sing in tune. This guy can sing and dance. He can rap and compose songs. This guy is so talented that he made me hope that there will be someone who might be like him. Someone who could be my ideal guy.

He can do kung fu and play sports excellently. I wonder, if there are things that he can’t do. He may not be that handsome but he’s someone I look forward to meet and he’s one of the guy that fits my description. But I know that he’s just my ideal guy but not the guy meant for me. He’s about 31 and we had a huge age gap. He’s in Taiwan while I’m stuck here. That’s enough for today, because I need to make another one in a minute.. Hehe… I just hope I could meet him!

Give It Your Best Shot!

Hmmm… I think I’m in the mood to write right now. Three in a row! Wahaha… As promised, I will be writing about my ideal date or something… or how I want to be courted (yudee!). It may be so much but not too much! hehe…

i already listed down ten on my notebook, hmmm ( I was doing some scribble on my notebook when I am bored and thought that these things would come in handy), okay, let me start. First on my list was star gazing, yeah I know it is a vague one. I love the stars and the moon, in short I love the sky especially if the stars are so good to look at, when they glimmer in the dark and the moon looks like it is smiling upon you. I can still remember the time when Solar System was my favorite part in Science, I just love the space and thought I could be an astronomer. In short, I want to see some constellations because I haven’t tried that. As an autistic, whenever I am lonely and when I look at the sky, I will forget my loneliness, instead I am dreaming of my bright future (so better back off and don’t ruin it! wahaha!)

Secondly, well I think I really love the natural way when the sun rises and sets. I want to see the sun rise, as in wait for it to come up, and I want to see this in the highest part, or maybe in the land of the rising sun, Japan. To experience what it feels like to see the sun rises in that part, and as well I want to see it sets, where twilight is coming. I like to feel what it feels to see it with someone special, but i think it’s the most common romantic thing.

Hmmm… since I like to write, I want someone to write some poetry or a short story for me, I like to read letters and cards, I know it is too simple yet some can’t do it really well. I also want to be in a place where poetry or story is being read. Maybe he can read me what he wrote or just my fave book- just read with feelings and facial expression (wahaha… so cute!)

I love music, well, I really do love it! So I think you know what I mean. Wahaha… Sing me a song, like my dad always do. I want a guy who knows how to play an instrument, a musical instrument like the guitar, piano or drums or whatever, and do it really well. I know how to play the guitar and I also want someone who can jam with me! nyahaha… Music and books take my boredom away. So be ready to sing, especially when you visit me, cause you can’t go home without singing.=)

My friends like to surprise me, then I want someone who can surprise me. He must know something about what I like and what I don’t, make friends with my friends so that you’ll have an access (kunchaba! hehe). Create your own style!

Another nature related… I love nature so I want a nature trip, from the bluest ocean to the highest mountain! wahaha… I want to have a joy ride, go to different cities, provinces or wherever! I just want to go somewhere, even to the moon! Be ready and pack your bags!=)

Okay, I’m still a girl! I thought I was a boy ever since! Playing with boys about my age, playing boys stuff and all, I love cars and whatever… But as an irony, I also love flowers, I love to talk to them. Another autism! I love to see blue roses or a dozen of tulips, or even a cherry blossom tree! wahaha… I want to see them and touch them to know if they are really real. I don’t want plastic flowers. Real flowers may wither, but the joy they bring will never fade.=)

Since I was young, I get fascinated by tree houses, read about them in a romantic story and I want to live in a tree house. I want to stay in a tree house and talk about each others’ lives. Watch the stars and feel the air! Woohoo!

I love to eat, I love to cook but I want someone to cook for me! Hmmm… Just like my dad who cooks deliciously, I want someone who can cook well and who can make me happy through his homemade cooking! I would really appreciate it, because not all guys can cook well. Yummy!

The usual thing, I want someone to have the same religion with me and my family, same relationship with God as mine! I want to go to church with him and listen to the preacher and not to talk with each other. I want to deepen the relationship whose foundation is the best, it is because it is founded by BIG DAD! And I know Big Dad loves me more than I!

There’s a lot more but it all depends upon whom! But I know and I am not afraid that I will fall for a foe, because I am Big Dad’s countess and He will never allow someone to hurt me. He will never give me to just anybody until he proves himself worthy! Big Dad loves me, so beware. Hmmm… Karma is just lurking around, better be good! wahaha…

That’s all folks! ’til next time, I will formulate another write ups…=)

The Reason of Being Single

What’s my view about it. Well, love is a single word that has millions of meaning. It is either subjective or objective. People I know would usually ask me if I am in a relationship, but the answer is usually the same- a shrug and this statement “NBSB or no boyfriend since birth” , we made a group named, SISA_single and satisfied… Well, I think I am full of love that despite being single I can and still live. I don’t need someone to complete the puzzle.

Yes, for the sake of an argument, everybody needs someone. “No man is an island” as what saying goes, but it depends on how you look at it. From your own perspective and your own decisions. Why is there someone who can happily live being single all their life? It is because, they find solitude there, they find peace and they are pacified for the fact that if no one is with them, there is always God.

Why is there someone who is in a relationship that is not happy or contented? It is because, they don’t have contentment, they lack something and they keep on finding it through different relationships, and some people only opted to have a relatioship in order to be “in”, or for their own personal sake, have they realize that they are giving injustice to the other party? Have they realize that in a way or another they can hurt someone? Well, they should have think first before they act.

I maybe young, I maybe ideal, believing in happy endings and believing that there is someone really meant for me, he may not be my ideal count but he may be the one sent from above. I promised myself that if I have to love someone, I should only love one, and if there will be a guy that will probably be a part of my life, I will make sure that he is the one, now, in the future and if ever the time after forever. He will be the 4th guy who will be always special. God, dad, and ahia(big brother), it will never be replace by him.

Watching romantic films and reading novels makes me think and hope that there is and will be someone whom can I call my soul mate, my knight, my count and my dream boy… But I suddenly realize that there is no perfect relationship and pain is always present. As well as, in this time, I think that the clan of Adan were blacklisted! Love, it is what Jesus wants us to have, He died because of love, but can someone really sacrifice himself and his happiness for my sake? I asked that very often. I am still waiting for an answer!

I am happy being single, and I don’t know what to do if I have someone to take care of? I was used to be the one who is always taken cared of. I just want someone who will love me like my dad, who will protect me like my brother and who will be there every time I need help and who will be my healer when I’m in pain like my best friend-Jesus.

I maybe imagining things that’s bound to be lost in space. I may not be in a relationship, but I know how it feels to be in one. I have friends and I’m not that stupid or numb not to feel. But, I think I am just immune to cheesy lines and my brain knows its boundaries. The emergency button is always ready for assistance.

I may admire celebrities, stars or even not, but I think it is just up to admiration and friendship, is the only relationship I can offer at the moment. Someone told me that, soon enough I will open my heart and mind for the possibility of meeting the Harry Potter of my life, well, I am always open but I just can’t break my promise!

What is that promise? Of course, my parents are strict and they want us to finish our studies first before getting into a relationship, and I really promised my family and myself to accomplish what I want in my life and what I really wanted to do before engaging myself into another tangle.

Lastly, I still didn’t find the man who is strong and brave enough to cross the bridge. ( Next blog, what I want in a man and how I want to be courted! Toinx)

Single is never dull! Single is better than a relationship that will lead to a broken heart…=)

Oh! I hate This!!!!

Think… Think… Think… (I’m thinking what to write! I’m so lost for words, even Mr. Webster can’t help, nor the Encarta!).

I’m just visiting this blog of mine, I forgot what I’m about to share or to write or something… (I don’t know what it is, maybe my partial and selective amnesia was triggered!)

HMmmmm…. I can’t remember anything to post! This sucks! What a crap, a managaing editor of the college department yet can’t compose a blog of her own experiences! What a shame!=(

Ok, since I glanced at the picture on our dresser, I remember the latest Harry Potter movie… Hmmm… I was a little bit disappointed, no! I was frustrated! I expected a lot from it! It seems like almost all fans were disappointed not only me and my beloved sister. I watched it on the premiere even if its costly and I’m not feeling well enough still, I went to watch it! (I’m trying to forget this!) But Harry looks so nice there especially after drinking the felix felicis, and went to see Hagrid! =)

Hmmm…Now, I remember! My brain is finally working though my neurons causes a lot of problems for me. For the past months and weeks, I keep on coming back to the hospital and laboratories for my lab test, while I am always seeing a doctor! Whoa! If how many pesos left my pocket every time I do these, I don’t know and I’m not counting cause it hurts a lot! I have this bruise on my arms… After the injection! Take note, both!

What else??? Oh yeah! I have a very long quiz in Pharmacology and Therapeutics 2, tomorrow and I don’t know what to study first and how will my brain absorb all information I will store into it. Take note, it’s just a quiz but it’s a big deal for us, cause once you fail, it will be harder for you to catch up on your grades. I will read the lecture notes from page 15 to page 50. It is just a quiz, because the exam on Tuesday will be a lot longer, the whole lecture notes and a 30+ pages from the previous lectures. How good is that? IT is our life! Sleep for us is a blessing! Sleepless nights are normal for us, we are looking forward to it every now and then, not only on exam weeks but the entire school year! =)

The main reason is getting to the finish! I cried a lot this afternoon without knowing what caused the tears to fall. They just keep on falling, like the water on a falls or a faucet! I keep on asking myself why? Yet no matter what I do, I just can’t figure out, I just can’t find the answer. It is better to answer a dosage problem than to answer my query. I just don’t know! Now, I’m lost again!

I don’t know how to finish this but I must stop right now, because my stomach is grumbling from hunger! See you on my next post!=)
Headaches…
July 11, 2009 • No Comments (Edit)

Oh no! I’ve been having this on and off headaches since jun and will turn a month on the 14th… I just don’t know what’s happening to me… I’m sick and tired yet, I don’t know what’s the real score about my health! I’ve been taking medicines and a medicine kit is always inside my bag, that’s why, I don’t go out without a bag.

I just don’t understand, I’ve changed my glasses because I thought that it will stop the headahces I have… I had this complicated status about my eyes, yet the headaches didn’t go away… I was so doomed! I need to study til late at night but I can’t just because of this stupid headache that I need to fight… I would just sleep to keep myself away from the pain, but sometimes even if I sleep, I can’t get rid of HA… I am sacrificing my studies due to my health, yet I don’t know what to do…

I need to see a specialist, yet this afternoon, all the specialist in Bacolod is not around. I was not checked! What if I had this something in my head and my life is in danger? I need to find this doctor in Iloilo because I can’t go home for almost a month or two because of thesis writing and Pharmacology classes every Saturday for the whole month of August! Oh crap!

I am diverting myself to happy thoughts to forget that I have this HA… Yet no matter what I do, I can feel the pain. It is not triggered by the rays of the sun nor the radiation coming from this monitor, or even from too much of watching tv because we don’t have a tv in our room in Iloilo… Not even by reading books. Because sometimes even if I just sit around and listen to my teachers talking and making lectures I can feel the pain.

My sister asked me to rate the pain, when I experienced the first excruciating pain, it was more than 10, but the super “kulit” headaches I’m having it is about 6-7 or sometimes more than that! oh no!And I am really wondering why is it that the pain seems to rotate in every lobe of my head. Sometimes I can feel it in my frontal lobe,sometimes in my temporal…

I hope that I can reach all my dreams before I say goodbye to this not so good world! I need to be strong! I need to know what’s the cause of this crappy headache…

Here I am Again!=)

Hmmm... Nothing to do, just looking at the monitor and listening to a single song all over again! Oh my! I really miss blogging, but sad to say, our internet connection (wi-fi) can't connect to friendster,facebook,blogspot and other sites with password, we assumed that it was filtered. I really do have so much to tell and I can only express it through writing or blogging...

Early in the morning while I was taking a bath, my imagination started to fantasize and as if I am dreaming while I'm awake... It's the birthday of our nanay Hannah, and we're ready to surprise her, we really made efforts for the special day, and I am thinking of my birthday on September where I'll be turning 20 and I think I am not 20 yet though. It's the 1st of July and it's about 3 months before that day will come.

I remembered, when I turned 18... I didn't expect that my family would surprise me because I don't like to have parties or what-so-ever. I just want something to treasure for my birthday. It was fun, where my high school friends came but my college friends didn't though because we are having our final exams... (I always have an exam during my birthday except my 19th birthday, because it was a Sunday). I already asked my mother about it, not to give me any celebration because I am planning to have it after I pass the Pharmacy board exam maybe next year. But still she didn't hear my plead and gave me a surprise party, but the rain (storm) ruined it (nakikiayon gid sa akon... I was never excited to have it since from the start, even thinking that I am 18 was far behind my imagination... where other girls or ladies like me are looking forward and are very much excited to have it... I don't even bother). The venue where it was patterned from the "Gryffindor common room" was not used because it was ruined, I didn't see it by the way, even a glimpse. But I was so happy when I saw my Harry Potter Cake, and the movie that my eldest sister made just for me... I cried when I had my birthday speech where I promised my family that I will be a pharmacist. I will cut this story out, I don't want to reminisce something... I just want to have it in my memory...

Last year, I also made some wish list and not a single gift from my wish list was granted, so here I am again... stating my wishlist. and hoping that when my birthday comes I may receive something... it will be extended for christmas!=)

Since I love to read, I will state the books I want to have...

* Harry Potter series (even though I already read all of them I still want to have them in my collection, I want it hard bound and I want them so bad!)
* Eragon, Eldest and Brisngr (it is authored by Christopher Paolini and I really do love the story and the elven language, I can't find Eragon in bookstores, only the Brisngr where I haven't read even just a word)
* Books authored by Paolo Coelho ( I already owned and read some of them but I want to collect his books, they are so nice especially the Alchemist)
* Count of Monte Cristo ( it is said to be one of the most favorite book of Dr. Jose Rizal and it is the only film showing in my high school days where I didn't fall asleep, and since I am a countess, I want to read a Book of a count!)
* Princess Diaries collection ( I am just an ordinary girl with extraordinary dreams and I'm a princess for some... I just want to read this!)
* Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events Collection ( I really do love them, especially Klauss!)
* Lord of the Rings Trilogy and other books authored by JRR Tolkiens ( I just love the old man)
* Goosebumps ( When I was young, and I'm still young... I used to collect them and I only stopped when the price was far beyond my allowance...)
* Nancy Drew (Carolyn Keene... I want to be a sleuth)
* Hardy Boys (Franklin Dixon... I just want some action while sleuthing)
* Sherlock Holmes (I already have the 2 volumes, authored by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle... Whew! My bedtime story!)
* Remington: The Science and Practice of Pharmacy 21st Ed, or 15th( I have the 20th, and it is good, though I haven’t finished reading this bible for pharmacist)
* USP (United States Pharmacopoeia, it is very expensive though)
* Dictionary ( English, Korean, Japanese, Chinese,Filipino, Elven, etc)
* Books authored by Mitch Albom (except Tuesday's with Morrie, already have it)
* Mythical creatures
* Recipe Book
* Books authored by Bob Ong
* Pugad Baboy collection
* Lastly, THE BIBLE...

It is not yet done... I also love music...=)

* Album of Westlife
* A1
* BSB
* Jonas Brothers
* F4 (taiwan)
* Blue
* David Archuleta
* David Cook
* Eraser Heads
* Jesse McCartney
* aaron carter
* High School Musical Soundtrack 2&3
* Album of Jay Chou (taiwan)
* Soundtrack of Boys over Flowers
* Pussycat Dolls (Jai Ho)
* MYMP
* OST of Transformers
* grand piano
* drums (set)
* guitar
* violin

I love music, it's a lot to mention and I can't remember all of them...=(

---Boardgames (to excercise my wit)

* Chess Board
* Games of the general
* scrabble
* anything that you can think of

i want Gadgets and Gizmos but I can't afford them now...=(

* Laptop (badly needed for research and thesis writing...=((
* a watch (digital)
* an Ipod video or iPhone
* a cell phone (wi-fi ready... music phone)
* digital camera
* sony psp slim (black)
* Nintendo DS
* a car (Lamborghini Diablo, and a race car)
* hmmmm.... I'll think again for more...

Hmmm... For the most expensive and almost impossible, (long term)

* A house and lot (preferrably a compound)
* trip to JAPAN, New Caledonia, London, Asia (tour around the world)
* to be in Hogwart or Harry Potter theme park (hoping someday it will come true)
* the car mention above
* have my own business
* a yacth
* to stargaze
* to be in 2 places at once
* to fly a plane
* to dance in a snow
* to sing under water
* to have world peace
* to eat every delicacies
* to meet my soulmate (hmmm... I wonder who he is)

I really appreciate if you gave me something from the heart like:

* a poem
* a story of my life (how you see me as a person)
* a chocolate
* a homemade cuisine
* bouquet of flowers (tulips, blue roses)
* a song (composed by you)
* and anything that you think would make me happy

My ultimate wishes that only Big Dad could give:

* to be a registered Pharmacist
* to die as a saint 9what do you think, huh?)
* to have a closer relationship with Big Dad
* safety of my family, relatives and friends
* longer life for my parents
* world peace again (love thy neighbors)
* to have wings and a halo (angel for short)
* I am a princess… I should have a prince… the chosen one… from Big Dad… (not now…I’m busy with my toxic schedule and I can’t handle them right now…lolz)
* to be in paradise with God
* to live my life in accordance to the Father
* and a lot of sleep ( I am deprived of it since I entered college)

I think it's a lot but, I just posted this for you to see what I think... I just posted this to keep myself striving and hoping, to have a goal... But I really posted this for you to accomplish my wish (act like a genie this time). Hehe... But I don't want to hope because I know that not all of you are reading my blog and not all of you are born with a golden spoon and fork in your mouth, it's just for fun... the rest is up to my prayers and the one who'll hear and answer it... The next thing I will do is, to put it in a balloon and send it to heaven to be heard, (as if my balloon would reach the stratosphere).=)

Just A Little Respect, Will You?

This article can be found and read in my Friendster, Facebook and Blogspot, June 24,2009...


I can’t sleep, and it’s almost near the hour of two in the morning, I just want to recall what happened to my day, what have I done and what I forgot to do. This may sound hurtful in the middle but, “bato bato sa langit,tama-an huwag magalit.”

I am a Catholic, and I am proud to be one though others may find it filthy or whatsoever, I don’t care, as long as I live out my faith. I was born to be one and I will die as one. I was raised to be and that’s the only thing that my parent’s could give that will not be taken away, aside from education.

We celebrated the Red Mass or the Mass of the Holy Spirit this morning, I arrived on time but of course all seats are taken, especially that the freshmen in our department were high in number. Luckily, my friends reserved seats for us. The program began with the procession of the faculties and lastly of the Agustinian friars.

The mass began, I was concentrating because it is the highest form of prayer and it is our practice to keep silent during this time. Then, my classmates came in late, and they shared seats with us, I was just annoyed by the fact that, they came in late and they talk a lot. Could they not hear and see that the mass has started?

I felt so bad because some of them are catholics like me. I was really wondering if they know what’s the real meaning of the mass, the parts of it and stuffs alike. I was also wondering if they are going to church with their families or if their parents are telling them of the proper behavior during this time? I wonder!

The priest is reading the Gospel, and my classmates are talking loudly to each other, of course, your concentration will evaporate, no matter what you tell them, they keep on repeating what they are doing. So never mind them. I really hate to think that they are just there because of attendance. “Tani, kung mag gahod man lang sila kag mag pa gutok-gutok, didto na lang sila danay sa gwa, kag mag chikka to sila asta gusto nila, indi sila mag disturbo sa mga gusto mag simba.” I just can’t take it anymore, since first year, that’s the thing they are doing, if not talking, texting,listening to their iPods or mp3 players. Oh come on... a little respect please.

Then, one thing, just because you are not catholics, you don’t have the right to sabotage or disturb others. You enrolled in a Catholic institution and you know you need to follow rules and attend mass. Also, you don’t have the right to condemn our religion because we are not condemning yours, in fact whatever religion you may have, it is not an assurance that you will go to heaven, it is thy faith that can save you. I don’t care if you memorize the Bible, but the question is, are you practicing what you’ve read and memorize? I am not pointing anybody, I am just stating what my heart feels. Yes, some catholics may be a “salot ng lipunan” for your eyes, yet not all of us are the same. Please don’t generalized, we were raised differently and we were given different values to live by. Before you judge, think! Are all the members of your community are saints???

Another observation I had was, some of the people inside the gym don’t know what to answer or to speak a prayer or a statement. Have they experienced Flores de Mayo or what happened to the 6 semesters in Theology? Did their parents taught them anything about God or about their faith? It is really a shame, because I thought that all of us knows how to pray yet some don’t, in fact that they are studying and learning theology and enrolled in a catholic institution.

I know, that not all of us have the same outlook towards faith,mass and religion, yet all we need is respect. Especially to my fellow catholics who happened to have a faith that can be blown by the wind, no direction, no foundation. Maybe, I expect a lot since then, and I am really proud that my family are going to the mass together, and we had a good foundation. And I really hate to say this, but when I was back in high school, when we have an institutional mass, everyone is silent, everyone listens, everyone is in right behavior even if the seating arrangement maybe uncomfortable.

Okay, I am ready for the backfire comments, if you would ask me if, I am not doing all that I have mention, I will say no. The only thing that you can say is, “you are sleeping during the mass sometimes”, yes I do admit that sometimes I am sleeping, yet I am not disturbing anyone who might be listening, and if I am sleeping, it the lesser evil, I am just sleeping if the audio is not audible. I don’t compete with the speaker. Yeah, I am not perfect but in my little way to show that I care about my religion and my faith is bigger than I am, I want to see a difference in this world before I die. No one is perfect, by the way, unless you consider yourself to be one. I am trying my best to be good and live my life in a Christ’s like way, but if you think it is just another hypocrisy I don’t care what you think at all.

Maybe a little discipline and respect would do. I am just hurt by what other catholics are doing. That is why, sometimes I prefer to attend mass by myself, in that way I will have a date with the Lord without disturbances and with all my heart and attention.

I am sorry to those whom I hurt by posting this, yet I don’t know how you feel. You may be asking your conscience what have you done or your pride will prevail at its peak and just consider this post as a rubbish,a crap or whatever. I am really pleading that next time will be a lot more different especially now, that we are in our senior year.

Maybe sooner, you will know that faith can move mountains, I already experienced it, not once but all my life. I live because of miracle,faith, prayers,devotions and angels. If my life was taken way by PDA, it was PDA that restores it. Prayers,devotions and angels- that’s how I live the second time around.

“I love the Lord, He is filled with compassion, He turned to me on the day that I call. From the snares of the dark, Lord be my guide,be my strength.”

8 Years before

June 7, 2002. It was the first day when I entered highschool. I was so little and I can remember things clearly. We had the welcome mass at the Villamonte gym and I already brought with me all my notebooks and the required school supplies. My bag was really heavy, maybe heavier than me, and my skirt was too long that when I sit, it reaches the ground.

I woke up early so that I will not be late on my first day. After the mass, higher years were sent back to their rooms and the incoming freshmen were left behind. The prefect will announce your name and in what section you would be. I fell asleep and my friends' names were called. I was really afraid that I thought I didn't do well on the entrance exam and I will be put on the last section (for sure, my parents would be angry and would compare me to my siblings).

At first, i really don't want to study in that school but my parents won't allow me to study in my school of choice. Then the sectioning was done. We went to our classrooms. I was seated at the 1st row and 1st column, beside the front door. I was one of the smallest ( indi man obvious!) but I was one of the cutest! Wahaha!=)

That was the time when one of my classmates called me "Chicken joy" because my name sounds like it. I really never regret meeting them. I had my mommy,daddy and a whole bunch of family. My friends didn't let me down and supported me in everyway. I just miss them so much.
i haven't seen them for some time and the communication is getting a little out of reach especially now that I am an island away from them! hehe...

I miss them so much, but what can I do? I thought our friendship already have a strong foundation but now I wonder if they are thinking about me too and if they miss me too like I miss them. We're so busy (I think) that we don't have the time to get together.

Another year and we're going to graduate, I hope that after graduation we could see each other, proud in our own chosen fields. Godbless everyone! Hope to see you soon!

Where did it go?

Hmpf! I really feel bad about what happened to my load... About a week and a half before, I loaded 300 php card. I was back then in Manila. When I came home i still have 200+ then I keep on registering in unlimited services. So that I can save (I think!)

Last June 5, around 3 am I registered myself to this unlimited service for two days, and yesterday I was shocked that my unlimited text expired when in face I should expire on the 7th around 3 am. I just shrugged it off and registered myself again because my friends keep on texting me.

Around 5 pm this afternoon I was shocked that I can't send when in fact I was sure that I still have 100+... My phone can't inquire it's balance and I asked my mom to give me load, she gave me 15. Then I checked again my balance and there, I only have 15 but I was still registered to unlitxt. I replied to some friends and checked again my balance, once again I was shocked to see that there's only 12 pesos left. What should I do? It was way too much.

I went to smart center and asked about my querry. Then I really feel bad after it, to think that more than a 100+ load was lost. Then I was just advice to stop all info message which I don't even receive even once. Then I would just say goodbye to my lost load?

Another "charge to experience" and forget what happened! Haha... I just feel bad (as in really bad!) For how many years i have been in this network, I just think it's not really fair.

I miss the family we made back in Mekeni!

I arrived yesterday, and I am missing my family in Mekeni! Hehe...

To our beloved nanay Hannah,

Thanks for the understanding and care. I know that not all of us has the same perspective about life and how knowing house chores are important in our life. Maybe only the 2 of us knows how they play a big part in our life especially in the future. I just want to say thank you for everything we've shared, the funny moments and all... Love you nanay love!

Ate Juanita Carlota (Charlotte)

My partner in doing the house chores. I miss you ate wan! hehe... Thanks for the memories and for the tough times we encountered, I just miss the time when we were chased by the LTO. hehe... That was the first time I see you cried! Thanks for the friendship and care.

Ate Tudisa Princesa (Tati)

How ironic, I'm older than you yet, I call you ate. I miss you ate, my friend! I will always remember the times we cried together! hehe... The thing in the bus (from Baguio!), and all the things we laughed at (tita karms will still watch us, hehe!). The sleepless nights that's full of chikkas. The picture taking and all. I will surely miss the fun!

Ate Tresita Anita (Rosette)

Sister! The most talked in town! hehe... Thanks for the understanding, especially if we are teasing you! Hope you will always find the Kingdom Hall!

Ate Portia Corazon (May2x)

My sister,ally,bestfriend,stalker, and all! The most artsy sister! hehe... We're so inseperable! From doctors to allied. From negros to iloilo! Thanks for the bonding, funny moments and all the things. Hehe! I will not miss you!

Sixta Gracia (April)

My special child younger sister! What can I say, go na go! hehe... Goodluck in your relationship with dada. May your relationship become stronger and make sure that he is the one! hehe...

See you on the 5th! We'll catch up..=)

No Place Like Home!=)

Well, after about a month without seeing my family, now, I can finally say that it is really good to be back home. Seeing their happy faces welcoming me at the airport, I feel relieved. I was indeed happy to meet them and hug them in my arms.

Family, my refuge aside from "BIG DAD", my allies, my uppers and my inspiration. It is what I really like about, having a close family tie. I could not ask for more, we are not rich when it comes to material things, but we are rich in love and faith that keeps us going through the trials and storms that comes our way.

Home, my sanctuary, my cocoon. I am a homebody, I love to stay at home especially if I have books to read and movies to watch! Hehe... With unlimited access to the internet. And foods in the ref and cabinet. Maybe, I just get used to it, living my life grounded! hehe...

I miss our dog, my little brother. The new baby of the family! hehe...

I was just so happy that I saw my aunts and uncle and cousins when I arrived... Dinner at their house because it's the 12th birthday of my little cousin... (Not little, in a month he will be taller than me, I will be left behind and will be lining in front again!)

I just want to stay at home today. Sleeping! hehe

Wedding Anniversary!

Hmmm... it's been about 4 weeks without a single dot or word posted in this blogosphere! hehe... Yesterday, I was about to write something, yet my pals are about to go. So I postponed what i about to post. Hmmpfff.... I think I'm feeling new here, words keep on swirling in my head yet I can't put them into writing. Yesterday, I had so much to tell yet I can't even compose a paragraph.

Today is the 32nd wedding anniversary of my beloved parents and I really wanted to see them, yet I can't, cause here I am in a far away land where I know no one and I have no one to go. I am such a wanderer, a traveller in this land.

I was asked by my sister to compose a message for my parents, she will be the one who will write it on the card. I can't express my feelings thru texts, so I told her I will just e-mail it to her. As I am writing or typing what I wanted to say, I keep on deleting it because I can't really express what I feel, I have so much to say to them but I can't and I don't know why. I think I only wrote three paragraphs which was not enough. I should have written a novel if I wanted to and if time permits. I was so dissappointed with myself (I should have expressed it better thru writing yet I stopped and became a coward instead, i was afraid that my letter was not good enough for them to read).

A Thank you is an understatement, and a sorry was never enough. I just thank God that despite the distance where I can't see the smile on their faces and I can't hear their laughters, I know they are happy and safe. They have a peaceful mind and a pacified heart.

Don't worry nanay and tatay, I will reach my dreams and you will be proud of me in the future!
Thank you so much and I love you very much! God is always with us!=)

I saw him smile=)

Duty time has its happy portions too, even if you're getting tired everytime you wait for the 12 hours to pass, yet there were happy moments!

I only have 10 duty days to spend, and I am going to miss it. Especially preparing the requests for the nurses (MC2 lang pwede? joke!) There will be so much to miss, the staff, the laughters, trivias, nap,ang maglibot ng hospital between 3-4 am, eating time, writing, and all the things! Punching, scanning and laughing out loud! Ang mga panunukso ng mga tao, hehe... Mamimiss ko lahat! Ang lahat ng sad times and pasaway.

If there's something more I will miss, it would be the smile of Kalium! (Kalium, the nurse at the station of MC2, who at first don't know how to smile and as if he's carrying the world upon his shoulders, somewhat suplado, but I like him! toinks!)

April 17, 2009... around 3:45 am, when I first saw him smile, our beloved pharmacist was on duty, I was the one who prepared the requests and she was the one who gave it to the nurse who happened to be Kalium. "ikaw gali si 'kalium'?" siya gali si "joy", "rosette", "jo" and "may2". At the moment he smiled and it was so sweet! Then when he was about to leave he said bye! (Shocks! I can't get it out of my mind!)

April 18, he made a requesition again, and then, another beloved pharmacist, interviewed him! I am not hearing everything they were talking about, yet I can hear his voice! It is so good to hear! Wahaha! HMMM... My hands were cold, not because of the temperature but because of the feeling that I don't understand! I was blushing, I think. Luckily my back was turned.

The sad thing was, he was not the one who get their medicines, it was another nurse! But I have his e-mail add. It is quite enough! Hehehe! I'm going to miss him, we will be scheduled to duty in the morning next week, so I can't see him always..=(

I'll just add him up in facebook or friendster na lang! hehe...Hmmm, I said to myself pa naman not to have a crush on nurses or nursing people! Hmpf!=)

no title to start with

First of all, it has been a trillion years since i last posted a blog, not only here in blogspot but also with other sites... I just don't have the time and my body is to tired to type because of the 12 hours a day, 7 days a week duty... Whew! Who would have thought that I am doing this for how many weeks and there's only 12 duty days left! Yes! But before I celebrate, there will also be a duty at a manufacturing lab, where I don't know where it is located and I have now the plane ticket. ( I'm not excited though, I am just prepared!=0

I just want to write this blog to post about something! Hehe... It's Kenji Fujima's birthday, my first love! hehe... Kenji Fujima do not exist, I don't know if there is really a Kenji Fujima, maybe there is a guy named kenji fujima, there's a lot of kenjis by the way! He is someone from the Slam Dunk, an anime whose genre is basketball. Where my passion of playing ball started. Slam Dunk was the one who ignited the fire in me! Yeah! I know that this anime is some funny and sometimes stupid crap, it is sometimes an impossible!

But Slam Dunk taught me a lot! Not only the interest to play ball and to play ball only, but a lot! It is an understatement, hehe... but whenever i watch this anime, I feel so happy! hehe... In SD, I found this guy, the shortest of all among the Shoyo players, the team captain and also their coach! Well, while almost everybody thinks tha Kaede Rukawa is the best looking player in SD, they can think again, because there's still Kenji Fujima and Akira Sendoh of Ryonan! hehe...

I fell in love with Kenji! Toinks! Yes, I was young then, but he just simply captured my heart! Wahaha. My first love in anime, I have liked so many guys in the anime world but no one beats Kenji! Even though he is just simple player, not noticed by everyone but who noticed by my eyes,was someone to look forward to. He formed some stupid standards for me to look someone like him up, who I think do not exist!

How could you have a relationship with someone who do not exist in reality? How could you have a relationship with someone who do not even know you, whose million and million of miles away? How could you separate your idealistic mind and logical mind in finding someone? nyahaha! Yeah, someone told me that, because I'm still young, I am still looking for that ideal guy, for someone we can call Mr. Right, Mr. Perfect or the one girls drool over in pocketbooks! The one your imagination form, but when you reach the age where your logical mind starts to tick, you will realize that your ideal guy only exist in your dreams. The ratio would have been 1:100000 maybe. Maybe they exist but you don't really know if that existence is not covered by stupid guys!

Okay, I would like to continue typing and posting but I will be late for duty! I will post something if I'm not too tired! hehe... maybe someday, my Fujima or Harry Potter will come!=)

All Over Again!

Oh men! It's been so long since I last posted a blog! I think my writing skills got rusty! Whew! I really don't want to stop, yet circumstances hinders me.

I am really pissed of repeating the urinalysis just because the doctor won't accept the results even though it is wthin the normal range. She really wants to see a "zero" in the results to consider it normal.

Don't get me wrong here, but is she reviewing? I can't really don't understand why I need to repeat my urinalysis, I've been repeating it for more than 3 times already. I have done everything she asked me too.

I really don't understand, why. I can't get my recommendation for my duty, just because of this urinalysis. I can't get my medical certificate and I don't have the time because I will have my duty on specialization in a short while. So (bahala na naman si Batman?).

I just want to end this blog, but I'm still pissed off.

Reminiscing the PAST!

First of all, I just want to share that I am happy right now because I am home... This reminds me of the times when I was still a kid, I am always alone at home.=(

When I was young, I am always doing things on my own, I grew up to be independent because I can't depend on someone, that they are always there to assist me. I can still remember the times when I was in the first grade, my mom would bring me to school and see that I am seated on my seat and then she will go to her office. And when I will look out of the window, I see no one. Not even her shadow can be found. I would cry and my classmates would look at me as if I am an abnormal child, but some of them would just tell me that she will be right back or she just went in the canteen. My teacher will tell me everything she knows that would console me, just like "nagbuy lang ice cream si nanay mo, mabalik man na siya karon...sulod na di kag mag copy." I will obey her and ginapasalig akon bu-ot na mabalik siya. I will copy notes from the board and get it checked by my teacher, then ask if my mom returned. I was the cry baby of the room. It's as if it is my routine everyday, look at the window and find out she's gone, cry, copy notes,wait... Until I got immuned by the feeling and accept that she can't be with me always.

A little history of the past...

My family came from nothing, we came from rags. I can't say that right now we are rich, I can just say we are blessed because of hardwork and perseverance and of course because of PRAYER,DEVOTIONS and ANGELS. People will tease me of being the "Avon girl" but they don't know that it is the source of income of my family. It is the one that pulled us up and give us financial support.

My dad was once a mechanic, that's why I love cars! He can assemble cars for drag race, that's why when I have a job, I'll buy an old model of Lancer (Mitsubishi) and let him manipulate the machine to be a drag race car! hehe... My mom is a plain housewife then, but since she has dreams for us to "makapagtapos ng pag-aaral" and "indi niyo ma agyan ang na agyan namon sa kapigadohon, tanan amon antuson, para sa inyo", so my mom can't take it anymore, tried anything to make money, until she joined AVON. Right now, she's harvesting the fruits of her labors... My parents now have a doctor, CPA, future chem eng'r and of course a future pharmacist! Nyahaha..

enough...

Past is past, we need to move on, but we need the past to let us remember where we came from... The only thing that my parents' can give us are: their love, support, faith in God, prayer and devotion, the values and the close family tie we have... and to live with God in the center of our lives is the greatest thing ever...=)

I am really having a hard time making a blog, I have lots of idea in my mind yet I can't put them into writing. I just love to think of them, to keep them to myself. I am having an emotional conversation with my mother just right now. And my mind keeps on swirling, I am having a homesickness right now! Oh! (Kung di-in nag 3rd year, daw didto pa nag tukar ang pagkabata!)

I really miss my family! I'm dying to see them! (exclamation point gid na ya, nagpapahiwatig ng matinding damdamin!) I am really having a hard time, but a little sacrifice and it will be alright! It is for my future! Hmmm... Speaking of future, I am seeing myself as a pharmacist, if not a doctor maybe! hehe...

When did I decided to take this up?

When I was a child, I really wanted to be a stewardess or a pilot! (nyahaha! I just love to travel!) I even asked my mom, "Nay, nu na ang course na galagaw ka lang pu damo ka kwarta nay man? Gina sweldohan ka bala pu la ka ubra, malagaw ka lang sa iban na lugar haw?" My mom just laugh at me, and told me "la ka handom sa kabuhi mo ya? Mu lang gid na ya? teh maging proud ka na bala sa ulihi?" (kag naghipos ang tanan! hehe). I was a kid then, but my mom really told us to have a dream, to set a goal. To be an achiever. I was an achiever when I was young, but then i don't know what happened to me! I was now an average, as if I am not excelling in what I do! (This is what I hate 'bout myself).

Highschool came, everyone wants to enroll in nursing, planning to take this course up, but I don't know why I don't like to take this up. I don't have love for this course! Yet, I took some entrance exams in schools offering this coourse and passed them all. Then, one evening during the family dinner, they asked me what to take up, looks like I'm caught in the middle, didn't know what to answer, and then I asked back, "nu course ang nami man, except nursing?" Then my eldeest sister suggested PHARMACY! Baby asked, "nami man na nang?" there, my eyes twinkled as if the heaven opened its gate and angels are blowing the trumpets! I have the answer! "Ma Pharmacy na lang ko nay ah! No retreat, no surrender! Sure na!"

That's where it started.. A little conversation, and that's it. My mom is always telling us na kung ano ang nasuguran taposon, bisan ano ka budlay sulungon! Well, here I am... 3rd year and in the second semester... A little bit more and I can finish what Iv'e started. Since that conversation, it was tattoed on my mind and my heart that I will be a pharmacist in the near future! But right now, I am in doubt if I will pass or fail, all I know God has plans for me, He will never abandon me, I am His child anyway!

I just want to share my love letter... Coming from my mom... It was given to me when I was still in first year, when she visited me at the dorm! (Sosyal, sang una ga bisita pa, subong la na!) I will state not entirely the whole letter... But some details, just a part of it!=) She wishes me to study harder because I am now starting to plant the seeds of my future. That my success is also there success. "When the time comes when you feel that you're alone always remember, we are here for you. When you feel that nobody loves you, we are here for you because we love you. God is always there for you! We only want the BEST for you!" I am really touched by my mom's letter... Actually, she just left it at my bed before she went home!

Here's the p.s. of the letter:

Drink your vitamins everyday...
Eat when you're hungry...
Sleep when you're sleepy...
Study when there is need for you to study, do your homework and study for the exams...
Be humble, always give love to others.
The more you give, the more you receive.

I could not ask for more... After weeks or even months of not posting, I came back to my senses and will be returning for more... watch out for the upcoming blogs that will either make you hate me because I'm bad, laugh at me because I'm silly, or love me because I'm a cutie!=)

ps... cheet, ara na blog ko! wahaha! kalma lang kay kung di ko busy ma pa ulan ko blog!=)

What Will I Do Without Them?

Whew! I can't start this blog, I think my brain cells are all burned up that they would not let me finish this post with out sweat. All I want to write about is a "thank you" for the people who made me keep on going. Indeed, a simple thank you is hard to express especially if you have a lot to thank about.

First, and foremost I want to thank my parents and my whole family:

To my everdearest nanay, what will I do if I don't have a mom like you? A big thanks 'nay. For she's the one who really understood me when I was so down last week, she did not scold me, I heard nothing from her aside from the comfort and the assurance that everything will be alright. For processing the requirements of the bank for me, and for the support and the unconditional love she bestowed. A simple thank you is not enough for the sacrifices she had done, for the comfort and all things, either materially or emotionally.

To my "dichi", the one who had the same face as mine, I am really touched. She's the one who offered me her atm, from the time she heard what happened. She made me cried out because of the care she showed even though she's not beside me, I can still feel that she's just there. She's actually the one who took care of me since I was a baby, deprived herself from playing with her friends just to look after me. A savior of my pleas, sometimes she's spoiling me! hehe...

To my friends, for making me laugh and forget about the depressing things that happened, a big thanks.

Lastly, no not the last there still more. My family in general for not letting me down, for making
feel that I am loved and for all the happiness that they made me feel. For accepting me wholeheartedly, that no matter what happens they are just behind me, willing to push me and pick me up. And if ever there's a chance to choose a family, they will be the one I will always choose. "You can always choose whom to like,whom to love, whom to be friends with, but your family? You can never choose, just accept them and enjoy their company, they are the ones whose always at your side especially when you are at your worst."

Lastly, for my BIG DAD... I never lost faith in Him, the one who gave my life. Without HIM I will never have a family like the one I have right now, and friends who I will never forget and regret...

A big thanks to all, and I will forever be thanking you!!=)

My Not So Good Week=(

Whoa! Days are so fast that you don't even know that the exams are fast approaching. These days are soo cold, as in cold! Feeling like you're getting chilled every time you went outside.

So, what happened to my week... Let me start from the main cause of my little agony. Okay, let me retell my atm card story so you can relate with me even just a little. It started last January 9, Friday when the 'IDH pharmacy angels' went on our duty, well this is our first time to have an over night duty, a little bit excited and a little bit sleepy, we made our duty, fighting the sleepiness just to last up to 8 am of January 10.

What happened on January 10?

After we went home, changed from my duty uniform, I lay my weary body on the comfy bed and closed my eyes. I definitely fell asleep until about 4 pm . When I woke up, I took a bath and went out to deliver my used clothes to the laundry shop. After that, I went alone to the nearest atm machine, (not in the school grounds), I'm hopeful to get money for me to eat my late lunch and merienda and get allowance for the following week. I feel happy having slept for almost 7 hours but then the happiness suddenly fade away, to make it short my card was captured.=( I asked the guard about it, and he just told me to follow it up on the next working day which is Monday. Luckily, I still have my savings, I didn't starve.

Monday came, after my morning class I went immediately to the bank again to ask about my card, since it is a generic card (card who don't have the name of the owner) the bank will not release it. I am about to cry because I have no money and I need to pay my tuition fee. I call my mom, telling her what happened, and because she's in an important meeting, she would just call me after. I went back to school and then after, had my duty again.

Tuesday follows, I didn't eat my lunch because I slept. Went to school and after the first class in the afternoon, went to the sea port to get my pass book just to be disappointed because the "manugbantay of the padalas" is not around and I need to attend my next class in a short while because I can't afford to be absent. There, I walked and rode the jeepney back to school just in time. After doing my experiment, I asked my teacher if I could go first because I need to get the passbook before the closing time, thankfully she allowed me (big thanks Mam Jac!).. When I got my passbook and the money just for my tuition, I went to the branch where my atm was captured just to make an OTC withdrawal, then disappointment strucked me again, I can't get my money because the branch in Bacolod where I opened my account was already closed and they can't get the approval. (how sad)

Wednesday, the most depressing thing that happened. I went to the same branch again to have a withdrawal yet the same teller who told me that I can't get my card back was the one in front of me, I feel like backing out after seeing her, she's making me feel so bad. I asked her about the situation then she look at my pass book. Here are the exact conversation:

Mahal:"hmmm...la ni xa atm mam?"

Joy:"ang atm ni gani, mu to xa ang na capture sng machine na indi niyo pag ibalik sa akon. gin pdala na lang ni gani ang passbook ko kay na hambalan na ang branch sa bacolod na ma otc na lang ko."

Mahal:"sorry ma'am, kay wala kami naga accept sang outside sa iloilo na transactions kay inter branch ni xa, kilanlan pa namon ang approval sng bacolod araneta."

Joy:"teh panu na lang ni miss? kay need ko gid ang money b" (still calm yet my blood is rising)

Mahal:"la di bi mam ang amon manager, pwede balik ka lang mga 230?"

Joy:"May duty pa ko galing, mu lang gid ni bi ang time ko subong kay may class man ko bwas until 6 and duty ko gid bi subong" (i feel like crying at this very moment)

Mahal:"try mo bi mam sa pinakalapit na branch, kay basi ara ila bm, sa central b mam, pakadto ka sa may central market, may mga raya da sang banks, nd man b wpwede sa quezon"

Joy:"pwede sa delgado?" (is she thinking that i don't know where are the other branches? masakay pa ko bala miss jeep magpa central samtang pwede ko man lang malakat pakadto sa delgado...grrr...*sa brain ko lang na)

Mahal:"pwede man mam, try mo lang"

I get back my passbook after saying a little thanks that I didn't know if she heard it, walked to Delgado while trying to stop my tears from falling ( I really look like a bum, a child na daw kaluloy bala aw, daw buang na galakat while mouthing words that people are looking at me.

When I arrived at Delgado, I asked a teller about my status or case she told me to went directly to their manager...

Manager Vic:"ano tani ma'am?"

Joy:"sir, pwede ko ka over the counter withdraw?"

Manager Vic:"wala ni xa atm mam haw?"

Joy:"may ara, pero na capture sa may Ledesma, kay nag shut off ang computer, teh in galing nila pag balik kay la b name."

Manager Vic:"ano hambal nila nga.a nagkadto ka pa di haw?"

Joy:"indi ko kuno pwede ka otc, kay inter branch daun la pa ila nga BM"

Manager Vic:"ay sa Bacolod pa ni gali?"

Joy:"huo, kay taga Bacolod ko bi, diri lang ko ga school kay la bi didto Pharma"

Manager Vic:"ah, la to pharma gali?"

Joy:"wala"

Manager Vic:" may ID ka da? mahulam lang ko, kay ma e-mail pa ko na sa branch didto, may klase ka pa?

Joy:"may duty pa ko sir"

Manager Vic:"lunch ka lang anay, balik ka lang after, basi ara na, kay basi di ko ka immediate kwa approval kay basi nag break man to bala ang BM sa araneta, ka lunch ka na?"

Joy:"la pa, cge thank you"

I went and have my lunch, oh not lunch, I think it's merienda because I don't have the appetite to eat. After eating, I went back to the bank and there it is on his table.

Manager Vic:"line lang da lihog ma'am kay ok na"

Joy:"thank you gid sir" (with a smile)

Then to make it short, I have money! hehe, went duty even I'm late.

Let's just skip Thursday, let's forward to Friday, last day of the class, attended the departmental mass, have my duty up to 5 am of today, went directly to the pier with my duty clothes on and fighting the cold of the early morning wind. Went home and sleep without letting the people at home know that I'm home, and have my dinner with them! A really good dinner!=)

That's my not so good week,yet let's just charge it to experience!=)

Profit or Service???

AS a pharmacy student, I have always met the line ‘profit or service’. If I’m made to choose, I’d choose service. Service from the heart is free, you don’t have to pay for it, your only capital is your big heart, extending hands and your mind—your will to help others With these investment, you will gain a lot more than money could offer.

Money on the other hand is also important. But money can be found, it will come and go. It may make you happy or even sad. It isn’t permanent, thus, is doesn’t last.

I just want to share what I have experienced during my community internship in one of the pharmacies in this city. I have seen and heard it all. My conscience can’t take it anymore. So let me share you a story regarding of a more profit—less service concept of this pharmacy.

Are you aware that some of the medicines given to you are expired? Yes, you read it right. The pharmacy I’m talking about are giving you expired drugs. I have seen the clerks erase the expiration date in one of the drugs and put it back into the shelf again together with the new ones. The expiration date was a month before, and it was erased right in front of me. If I am a child, I would actually think that what she is doing is right and it is for the better, but I am no longer a child to think that way. So before you leave, check your medicines for tampering and for the expiration date. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Next, they’re not giving a discount on senior citizens. The price for the seniors and for the non-seniors is the same. They tell the seniors that the price has been discounted when actually it hasn’t. The price the senior will get to pay is the same to a non-senior if you’ll get to see their receipts.

There’s a lot more about this pharmacy that you wouldn’t longer want to hear because it will just cause you disappointment and blow the lighted candle in your heart.

I have learned a lot during my internship—that not all you know in school is applicable in the outside world, where there is competition and money involved. I also learned that you must not expect something because you will really be disappointed for what you’ll see.

I will be a future pharmacist, and I want to change the wrong I’ve seen. Service—is what I want to offer to everyone. So, for other future pharmacists and those who are already pharmacists, let us live for service. #

What I Learned from Experience

I just want to share my experience and what I learned from it. Last, January 9,2009 we had our duty from 2:25 pm 'til 8:25 am on the next day, it's about 18 hours I think.

What did we do during duty hours: stand, sit, familiarize the medicines on the shelves, copy charge slips on the notebook, talk with the staffs on duty, make fun of ourselves to ease the boredom, and the most exciting part was using the computer and talking with the patients-- dispensing... I slept for about an hour or two (hehe, we closed the pharmacy for indexing by the way, so we had nothing to do...thanks for the kind pharmacist on duty-- Mam Ella).

Walking down the road to our boarding house and when my body touched our bed, there I feel like I'm floating and angels are singing, I woke up around 4pm, took a bath, and went to the nearest BDO atm machine to withdraw but then the saddest part was my card was captured and the machine was temporarily out of service.

I feel like crying but then, the machine will not give back my card even if I do, then there's a lot of people there, I am ashamed to cry in front of them. I walked home and get my uniform from the laundry shop, masking my sadness through my smile, I went out to eat (breakfast,lunch,snacks and dinner in one meal).

I eat out loud as if I starved for days. Then I realized that I am indeed so lucky, not only lucky but blessed. I will share what I learned.

1. It is really good if you have savings, not all the time you have money in your pocket, wallet or atms. Just like me, "I'm wise like my grandma" I have savings that saved me from starvation and nearly ulceration.(hehe... be a wise money spender, don't rush and save more.)

2. I am blessed that I have plenty of food to eat, not like the street children I can see near the school grounds, downtowns, in overpasses, and in sidewalks. We must learn how to share what we have, and let's not waste food, I had experience the feeling of eating nothing with in 18 hours and the feeling is not good, it's unbearable. I don't want to feel it again.

3. I am so lucky that I can speak,read,write and most of all understand the universal language--English, unlike other races. Because when I was lining at the food store to eat, I was behind two koreans, he asked his friends what they want "ku-la" or eys-ti", then I suppress my laughter maybe I'll get home with a black eye or I can't even walk at all after I laugh. I realized that he was asking if they want "cola or iced tea" then it occurs to me that Filipinos are so lucky because we can understand and speak even just a little. Go Pinoy!

4. I learned that there are a lot of people who cares about me and willing to help me when I'm in need. I really appreciate all of them. A very big thanks to them, you know who you are.

5. I also learned that taking up Pharmacy is not an easy thing to do, and life in a hospital is so toxic, so a salute for the doctors,Pharmacists and nurses too... Keep up the good work.

6. Lastly, I learned that I am so loved by God because I am alive up to now and I learned a lot.

I still got experiences that I learned a lot in life, maybe what happened is for my own good, that I may feel what the least fortunate brothers and sisters of ours felt. That it's hard to look for money, I also appreciated more what my parents sacrificed for our future.

I would like to thank my parents for the love and support and for the sacrifice you've done for our future's sake and also for the experienced I had for me to learn more, indeed you are a great teacher because I can't learn it from school.=)

My Future=)

It's been a time since I visited my blog, last visit was actually last year, I think...(wahaha, I'm so busy with the holidays and when I am about to write something up, my mind won't produce words).

So, here I am now, after duty. Making this blog about something whom I just like to share to those who wants to read this... It's actually my 2nd duty time, last was Monday, the first day of school in this year, and first duty ever... I think May2x already posted her blog about that, and I agree with her.. The experience is one of a kind, tiring yet fun. New things to learn, new ballpen to buy because my ink is about to dry up,copying lots of files on the logbook withot erasures. (My cable is getting bigger).

I know, you are wondering about my new inspiration... It's just that I am getting excited about something. (nyahaha) Hmmm... I'm so excited to finish my duty in hospital,manufacturing and with specialization, then finish my fourth year, passed the board exam, see myself taking oath with my fellow colleagues..(wahaha), then i will be proud to say that "this is my calling, this is my pride, I am now a PHARMACIST!" with such pride and dignity, then, I would have my thanksgiving party (wahaha... time to thank Big Dad, it's big time, you are invited if you like just bring me a gift... a psp will do, or a pair of havs...) I will get gifts and hugs,kisses and I will see the people whom I thought do not exist congratulating me as if we are really close (bato, bato sa langit, tama-an 'wag magalit.) I will thank all the people who helped me and who are there by my side through thick and thin, through ups and downs, through laughters, funny moments and crying times. (-cut-I will just specify on the latter part, ukieh???)

next episode of my dreaming...

I will have a job, a good salary enough for me...I will save for my future, my parents will put up a pharmacy for me ( I really do hope so, a future investment that if run well, will be there for further generations...nyahaha), then I will manage it, and still have the time to teach in a university (I don't know where, but just for part time and just sharing what I know, if I know something...hehe, therefore, I will learn more...from studying and in what i teach and of course from my students...because teaching is a 2 way process, right?) In short, I will be rich! (wahaha...hmmm...a thought bubble is above my head right now saying "I am still the same person you all knew, nothing has changed, except that I have money, though I don't care about it, I care about you..." hehe... Still, it doesn't end there...

what will I do with money if ever I will be rich...

1. I will buy my father his dream car, a Pajero will do, then the oldest model of Lancer (he will assemble it to make a race car... nu pa gid gusto mo tay? hambal na para ma preparahan ko...)
2. I will acquire a big lot, (hmmm, how many acres nay?) build a home there for my parents, with a big lawn, a garden,pond, garage,veranda,etc... for my nanay... (nu pa gid nay? pool?) then on the other part of the land, it will be for the 4 of us,my siblings to share so that we can still be close and intact...(I really love them, you know!)
3. I will buy lots of books to read, hehe (Tales of Beedle the Bard tops my list right now)...
4. I will save for my future...(it's all there... I think family, for my nephews and nieces...soon to be, for my children if ever I will not become an old maid)
5. I will tour arond the world, 1st stop would be Japan!
6. I will put up a charity to help those people in need... (I will think of a good foundation where I can donate, I think I'll start with my neighbors..)
7. I will help the church (the quasi parish in the neighborhood)
8. I will help the children with dreams, reach their goals.
9. I will help my friends, and everyone who needs my help (just don't abuse it)
10. I will give something for myself, I will be the last to enjoy my money...

That's if I am really really rich, hihi... I hope so, because I just know that I WILL do these things, I don't want money for myself, I want it to share with others.

*Especially to my family who had undergone deprivation in the early years of our life, then it is payback time for my parents, for all their hardships, for the missed lunches and dinners... for staying up late and for the support that they have given me through the years, for molding me for who I am right now, for the values,virtues and for the faith. I love you, and I know you are not perfect though you are trying to be, I will never give you up even if i have to choose another pair of parents in this world, I'm still going to choose both of you...

*For my siblings, who are there, watching me as I grow up, for teaching me lessons I can't learn at school, for the times we spent and will be spending together though we will have our separate ways, for the moments that I will forever cherish and will never perish, for the bonding, drive throughs, coffee breaks, dining together, and all those stuffs that made us whole and indestructible, we will have each other. I love you all, and I will always be your baby. hehe

*For my friends, since I was a kid, to college and for my future friends, I thank you a lot, for the times,secrets, talks, and all the things that we had shared and will be sharing together, for the quotes,text messages,comments,chats,and all means of communication, for the laughters, crying times, study time, researches, movies,food trips, and lahat ng trip sa buhay. I salute you, friends forever? If forever is not enough then longer that forever eh!

*Teachers, thanks for sharing your knowledge with us, for the patience in teaching us, for reviewing us the things we tend to forget all the times, for believing in us, for pushing us further to the top, for the failures so that we may learn, for the friendship, and for everything that you have given us, for being our mentors and second family apart from home.

*PMT family, whew! This is what you call life, this is what I call a very good journey, for all the funs and games, for the losses, for everything that happened in my college life, i owe it to you, for the toxic nights and days, for the sleepless nights, mountainous work loads, for the friends I've known and will be knowing, for the experiences... Whew! I love it!

*Anime... yeah, I am still on this stuff... My other inspiration to go further... nyahaha.. I learned a lot from this thing, it is not only for entertainment,but there's a lot more to it...

*Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe... Whoever you are, hmmm... just want to thank you for the inspiration again, to move on! hehe... (toinx, it's part of me, I think I will never get tired of looking at you! not really...)

*Future, whoever you are, I will be waiting for you to arrive at the right time,moment,place... (pagusto ka kung mag.abot ka or indi ah! hehe...basta, I know kung mag abot ka, kaw na ang ginsend ni Big Dad...)

--- Don't think of anything about sa last one ha, I just put it there, interested? another chismis! hehe... F-U-T-U-R-E!!!

This will be the last paragraph, I am just conditioning and inspiring myself so that I can do better and don't give up, so that I will not get tired and stop in the middle, so that i will go forward and never surrender, so that I will be who I want to be and be more that that! So that, I will unite dreams and reality, and be proud to say that dreams do come true!=)